Spilled Milk
by InvidiaX
Summary: "I think having injuries makes you look more badass!" Naruto smirked.  "Sasuke doesn't have a bad ass…" Sai leaned over to pat Sasuke's butt."What the… Sai!" Sasuke turned around to see Sai happily smiling."In fact, it's really hard…" Sai smiled.
1. pole dancing and drunkards

DISCLAIMER! DO NOT OWN NARUTO!

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><p>Sasuke lifted his arm up and deliver the final blow that would officially end his five month long mission. The man before him cowered at him, covering his face with his forearms. As he pleaded for mercy, Sasuke brought down his sword, ending the existence of a psychopath, who spent three years in the monopoly of drug use and women trading. Sasuke brought his sword back to the sword sheath when suddenly…<p>

_Snap._

The dull pain in his right shoulder made his arm drop dead to his side. the blade shattered against the ground as he cussed under his breath and picked up the sword with his other arm and sheathed it in the sword sheath. The pain in his shoulder escalated by the second, forcing himself to bring his left hand to his right shoulder and pressed down the muscle.

"Sasuke, are you okay?" The orange haired hyperactive, number one unpredictable knuckle head ninja asked Sasuke.

"Hn… I guess" Sasuke pressed his palm against his shoulder and rotated the joint, which creaked in protest.

"We should be getting back; your shoulder isn't looking really good." Naruto worried as he dug around his backpack and took out a pain killer. He offered it to the raven haired boy; Sasuke accepted it, chugging down the medicine.

The medicine numbed the pain in his shoulder, leaving a bag of skin, muscle, and bones, instead of the powerful arms that Sasuke named 'his guns'. They immediately left the hide out and set out back again to their two day journey from the Land of Waves back to Konohagakure. Sasuke's arm bothered him as it hanged dead from his shoulder and wiggled around painfully, stretching unnecessarily, it wasn't painful, it was bothersome. Like a burn in your finger or a scratch that you can't ignore.

They traveled for hours, eager to return to the fire country, back to Konoha, where they would be able to go back to their normal lives until Tsunade had another wonderful idea to give them a back breaking mission which always turned up to be a felony. Except the last mission. The last mission involved the big cats of the Land of Waves. Sometimes Sasuke found these missions a pain since they took him away, sometimes for about nine months, and when he came back, it seemed as if Konoha wasn't the same, he once remembered when he came back from a seven month mission and Ino already dated Choji, Shikamaru, and married Sai, and was happily pregnant. Sasuke seemed oblivious about gossip from the village, but deep down he was dying to know what was Hinata's next move on Naruto, or what how many hook ups did Ino had in a month. He always liked to be up to date so when he came back he knew what was going on.

"Hey, Sasuke, let's stop." Naruto demanded. He was right, if they kept going, they were sure to reach Konoha by that night, but provably with the sole of their shoes falling, or badly injured.

They spent the night in the forest, taking turn to watch the perimeter every two hours.

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><p>Sakura Haruno, of age 22, pole danced in the club 'the drunken leaf'. Alcohol got the best of her, again. Not only Ino, her very pregnant friend dragged to go out parting, but she drunk herself out of control, and she took off her shirt and danced around a pole that was installed on their table. And the worst part of that was that the next day she woke up to a knocking on her door. Apparently Rock Lee found out last night was rather entertaining, as he winked and showed a hickey on his neck.<p>

From all the people that were in the club. He kissed… scratch that, had sex with clothes on with Rock Lee, the dorkiest ninja in the leaf. At least it wasn't Kiba, she would be mortified at the thought of her on top of Kiba, drunk of her mind while she make out with him, and then he would start barking and dog humping her leg. She shuddered at the thought and closed the door on Lee.

Sakura's phone pulled her away from her thoughts. She reached over to the contraption that vibrated and answered the call.

'Sakura?' Ino's voice hammered her ear.

Not only was Sakura mortified, but she also felt like crap. She had the worst hang over in the history of hang overs. There was a constant thumping on her head that was killing her and her eyes burned at the thought of the sun.

"hmmmmm….." Sakura groaned.

'You don't sound really good…' Ino mumbled.

"You bitch, because you dragged me to party, Rock Lee showed up to my flat, complementing what a good sexy goddess of erotica fantasies I am…" Sakura held her head with her hand.

'I'm sorry, I think we've should have drink water instead of alcohol… well you…' Ino mumbled.

"No shit Sherlock" Sakura groaned at the thumping on her head.

'You know Sasuke is coming today… right?' Ino sighted.

Shit. Her childhood crush, who totally crushed her heart into tiny pieces to leave with the creepy snake guy, and came back five years later, pleading for forgiveness…. Wait, no, he demanded forgiveness, then, he was pleading for forgiveness when he was put under torture by Tsunade, which consisted of watching the cheesiest soap operas in Tsunade's soap opera collection. When the first episode was over Sasuke even confessed the size of his underwear. Then he was put in confinement for three months and later monitored a whole year by Naruto. He was still the same man bitch he always had been, but Sakura finally got over him. Not really, just a little bit.

"Fuck, are you fucking serious?" Sakura groaned at her vocabulary, sometimes it went out of hand when she was stressed.

'Jeez, watch your fucking vocabulary…' Ino followed her pun with a giggle.

"K'…. I really don't know what to do, if they are coming today Team Kakashi is having a meeting obviously…" Sakura groaned at the thought of being in a room full of hormonal men, that discussed what bra size did Tsunade had and then compared it with Sakura's cup size, well according to Naruto, they were a ratio of tea cups to buckets.

'Well… then… stay strong?' Ino's statement didn't sound very convincing.

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><p><strong>hello! this is my first Naruto fanfiction I've ever written. so... yeah... what do you think of it? please review and tell me what you think of it! no flames or else you will let me know that you spend your free time trolling on people's stories! :D. well either ways, might as well tell a bit about my self. so this story is based in one of my injuries and it's about how Sasuke messed up his shoulder and he has to take care of it, but since Sasuke might be the most stubborn character there is he doesn't really care about it. It's called shoulder laxity and it appears when you over work your shoulder, extremely abundant in swimmers (I swim). By the end of the summer it will be hard to update because I have Junior Olimpics and I can't miss it for anything! but I swear, I will keep you updated! <strong>

**love!**

**-Emma~**


	2. do you touch yourself?

Disclaimer! do not own naruto!

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><p>Sakura winced at the thought of the four men sitting on her couch making fun of her boobs. She was not up to the regular, after mission, team 7 meeting. Not only she wasn't able to overcome her hangover with a jutsu, she had to throw up every now and then. And what was even more unbearable was that Kakashi actually saw her dance half naked, while Sai sat there smiling like an idiot, she hated Sai with the passion of a thousand of exploding suns. Sooner or later, Sasuke and Naruto would find out, but in no time, maybe Naruto would pull a stunt, so stupid the whole village would forget about her and she will live under the shadow of Naruto's mortification and regret.<p>

Soon, Kakashi popped up on the rail of Sakura's window, making his way inside from the window, greeting her with his signature greeting. Then, like the rest of normal people in this village, Sai showed up on her front door. She was mortified sitting on the set of couches on Sakura's living room, sharing breathing air with the men that saw her practically dancing on her underwear. But what was worst than sharing breathing space with Kakashi and Sai was that they were discussing over some pictures Kakashi brought, which he took last night when Sakura was dancing. Now, she was sure, Naruto couldn't pull a stunt bigger than hers; she couldn't wait until she had to go to the hospital on Monday so Tsunade can 'talk' about those pictures.

"Sorry we're late! Sasuke is a pussy!" Naruto yelled, practically kicking the front door open.

"No shit Sherlock…" Kakashi mumbled staring intensely to those pictures which put his Icha Icha books to shame.

"I might be a pussy but you have the common sense of a brick." Sasuke followed behind him, with his arm still dandling on his side.

"Hello Sasuke, hello Naruto! How was your mission?" Sai, obviously oblivious of Sakura's awkward behavior, greeted the two ninja.

"Arg! It was so painfully boring… I don't even want to talk about it…" Naruto stretched his arms over his head and plopped beside Sakura. "How was your week?" Naruto asked, whispering on her ear, letting his ramen-smelling breath to filter through Sakura's nose, making the bile rise up her throat.

"Nothing happened…" She tried to sound calmed, but there was still a hint of panic on her voice.

"She pole danced." Sai abruptly said.

The room became quiet. So quiet Sakura thought this level of quietness should be illegal in Konoha. Naruto and Sasuke stared at her, with their eyes widely as their jaws hit the floor. The most covered up ninja, who's glory was never seen by a man, nor woman, even though Ino begged multiple times they should get it on, 'for practice', pole danced shirtless in the sexiest, wildest club in Konoha.

"Do you want to see the pictures?" Kakashi held out the stash of pictures to the surprised men.

Without a doubt, Kakashi spilled the pictures on the table. Sakura didn't think what was worst, the fact that she though she looked sexy on that pole, or that her team mates gawked at her pictures as if she worked for the Konoha Playboy. Either ways, they didn't make her feel good.

Naruto's nose exploded, spilling his nose bleed all over the room, while Sasuke's right hand when to his mouth, covering his nose bleed and the other one to his pants, covering his baby factory. Somehow, Sakura felt a little better about the pictures. They turned on Sasuke, no girl in the history of girls turned on Sasuke. And if you turned on Sasuke, either the world was going to end, or pigs will start to fly, and shit was going to go down.

8888

Sasuke walked home… scratch that, his shoulder hurt so bad, he wanted to stay behind so he didn't have to go to the hospital and have a swarm of nurses, pulling up their skirts, and unbuttoning their shirts while they took Sasuke's temperature. That's something he never got. Actually, he hated it when the nurses took his temperature and their breasts were on his face. Over all, he found it utterly annoying. As soon the magnificent trio disappeared from the range of his sharingan, he was simply being cautious, he sighted in relief. After all, Kakashi had a sharingan, and he always showed up in the right places on the wrong time.

Sakura opened the door. She was leaning on the door way, the yellow light reflecting on her pink her that grew out considerably long and she kept it on a messy bun. She jerked her head, signaling him to get his ass inside her flat before she makes you. Slowly, he got up from and walked into her flat, plopping on her couch.

"Are you going to crash here again?" Sakura asked, closing the door behind her.

"hn…"

"If you 'hn' at me I don't know what it means, I still haven't learnt Sasukenesse" Sakura got him a glass of water.

Sasuke swallowed his pride. He never asked for help, except from extreme conditions.

"My shoulder hurts…" He looked away, and Sakura blinked a couple of times.

"Um… Okay? Which shoulder?" she asked surprised.

"Right shoulder…" he mumbled.

"Take off your clothes." Sakura stated. It wasn't a question.

Suddenly, the Uchiha heir felt violated. The woman in those magnificent pictures, which made him forget about his secret porn stash collection, told him to strip.

"Stop staring and take off your shirt, I have to look at that shoulder…" Sakura sighted.

"Hn…" Mortified. Mortified because of his naughty thoughts.

Sakura stared at the shoulder and weighted the arm on her hand. Then she pressed her glowing fingertips on his shoulder. And according to her facial expression, whatever Sasuke had, it wasn't very good.

"Do you jerk off a lot?" Sakura asked.

Did he… Ah! No gross! Wait… what was he talking about? Of course he touched himself. But that was like once or twice a month… actually it was going to be a week, because after this he was going to have an intrusion in Kakashi's home and beg for one of those pictures.

"Is that a trick question?" Sasuke asked nervously.

"I need to know, this injury you might have has to do with excessive pumping or overworking…"Sakura could create the most awkward situations in Konoha. No joke.

"I guess I overworked it… you know… I use a sword…" Sasuke almost turned red, but he was successful to keep his, what Sakura called, moron façade.

"I guess that might be it…" Sakura pulled his arm, keeping the shoulder joint in place, then she noticed, a whole between the cartilage in his arm to his shoulder. His ligaments were getting too lose.

"So… what's wrong with my shoulder…?" Sasuke looked up to Sakura.

"My guess is shoulder laxity, but maybe if I take you tomorrow to the hospital I can have a better look at it…" Sasuke pulled his shirt down, while Sakura left to the kitchen.

"Yea, you can crash here tonight!" Sakura yelled from the kitchen.

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><p><strong>thank you for all the story alerts and reviews! I felt really excited! but still! I reeeeeeaaaally want reviews! I know I sound one of those review whores, but reviews get me in the mood to write! if I get enough reviews I'll make a HOT chapter for tomorrow, even today! maybe Sasuke naked, or Sakura getting dangerously close... I don't know but it will be a teaser... I LOVE TEASERS. they are the best :D. okay, I'll stop my rant on teasers and tell you that I'm really happy, and stuff, and my shoulder laxity is getting better, that actually, I might be able to swim for Junior Olympics, which makes me really excited, because I haven't had a competition for a while, even though next saturday I have another one... but still! keep reviewing and stay beautiful!<strong>

**love**

**-Emma~**


	3. The King of Awkward

**disclaimer, I do not own naruto.**

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><p>The next morning was unbearable hot. The hot sun beat down the street; making the people stay on the shade if they didn't wanted to be consumed by the sun's rays and burn to a pile of ash. Sasuke and Sakura walked down the streets in their thinnest ninja clothes they could find. But since a ninja had to be a genius of disguise and conceal, they were all black and thick. It was too hot, so hot Sakura looked forward to get under the AC of the hospital and grab a glass of cold water while he examined the Uchiha heir. Yes, that was the best idea that Sakura came up with. She couldn't wait to get in the hospital and enjoy the cool air.<p>

The hospital air was cool. And Sakura loved it. Even though during the winter she had to wear an extra layer because it got to cold, but she loved it how cool it was during the summer. Sakura checked in, greeting the other nurses and changing to her hospital shoes. Lucky her, there was no one that saw her dancing topless in the bar, but she bet that Rock Lee was going to show up around here asking her to go out for dinner.

Finally, they got to Sakura's examination room. It was hot. Way hot. To hot that when you opened the window the cold got into the room. Why was it so fucking hot! It was increadibly hot. The sweat started dripping off Sakura's forehead giving her a moist face and her uniform was starting to get wet too. The room was as hot as a car left under the desert's sun for four hours. It kinda had that smell too, like really bothersome.

"Hey! Can we get the AC running in this room?" Sakura yelled, waving her arms, showing sweat spots under her armpits.

"Okay…. But it's going to take a while to kick in…" The nurse apologized, noticing Sakura's Tsunade based face starting to come on.

Sakura closed the door and opened all the windows in the room, letting a cooling breeze filter through the room. But it still was really hot.

"Okay… take off your shirt and lay on your side…" Sakura ordered.

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><p>Sasuke took off his shirt gratefully. The uniform shirt kept sticking to his torso because of the sweat. He lay down to the plastic covered bed, on his side, and instantly the plastic wrapper started to stick against his skin.<p>

"Okay, I'm going to measure your shoulder so just relax and tell me if you feel any pain…" He looked at Sakura, who also took off her uniform shirt but she had a white undershirt. Who wears undershirts in this weather?

Carefully, Sakura lifted up his arm, and with a medical protractor measured the angle of the shoulder in various sides, noting down the number to a piece of paper. She moved the arm around to various positions and some of them were quite painful since Sakura kept stretching and Sasuke felt the bone almost out of the joint. Later she made Sasuke to ley on his back. The plastic wrapper clung to his back, sticking uncomfortably on his back. Sakura's fingers played around Sasuke's torso, which for some reason he really enjoyed. In fact, he liked it too much. Her soft fingertips glowing with cool chakra, dancing around his bare torso, sometimes Sakura's hands went down to his abs and rested her palm there while she pulled his shoulder joint back, which was painfully pleasuring.

"Yep… As I thought… Shoulder laxity…" Sakura dropped carefully the arm beside Sasuke.

"So… good or bad…?" Sasuke asked.

"Well shoulder laxity happens when your ligaments are loose, so your shoulder muscle must make up for the strength, driving the muscle to do double the work, so if that happens thee cartilage of the joint is completely wrecked, inflamed, in other words." Sakura spoke as he played around with his shoulder.

"Is it a big injury or a small injury?" Sasuke asked, sitting up to the edge of the bed, automatically slouching.

"It's big enough that if you don't take proper care you will have to undergo surgery, and the after therapy takes years… so by the time you would be able to spar if you went under surgery you would be twenty seven years old." Sakura sighted as the sweat got on her face.

"Can I do something about it?" Sasuke mumbled.

"Yea, actually, slouching puts more weight on the shoulder so sit up!" Sakura walked over to him, pocking him on his back, forcing him to sit up straight. "Also there is therapy and a bunch of medication you have to take… and ABSOLUTELY no sparing, fighting, or putting your shoulder under any stress is prohibited!" Sakura emphasized the last sentence so Sasuke would get it through his thick skull.

Sasuke immediately felt panicked. No sparing to sword fighting, or any kind of ninja work out. And what is worst, no pleasure time. He hated this. Not only was he deprived of what he loved most, but also about his private activities. But was this for a week or what?

"For how long?" Sasuke asked. He was getting to annoyed with the quantity of questions he had.

"Two months." Sakura said, tying the black sweater around her waist while she put her long hair in a bun.

"Two months?" Sasuke slouched back, but Sakura pocked his back forcing him to sit up again.

"Yep…two month of therapy and you have to wear a brace… just in case, normally people don't wear one, but we are talking about you, the king of stubborn." Sakura sighted while she opened a closet and unwrapped a contraption strange enough to make Sasuke get the wrong idea. But still, that brace would be the most embarrassing thing that he would have to wear. Except of the kitty ears he had to wear once. Naruto wasn't going to let him live that one down. He actually took a picture of it, photoshoped it and sold it to the Konoha Women's magazine.

" 'kay… first I'll have to wrap your shoulder…" She took out some bandages and wrapped the bandages around Sasuke's shoulder. After that Sasuke fitted his shirt over the bandages. Then she fitted the contraption. First there was this belt going over his chest and another one wrapping around his left shoulder. At the shoulder there was a helmet looking like thing that clung over his shoulder, protecting the shoulder from any kind of impact.

"This thing is ridiculous…" Sasuke nagged.

"So was your behavior a couple years ago…" Sakura sighted.

"Touché, you got a point there…" Sasuke smiled while his gaze was fixed on the floor.

Sasuke lifted up his gaze, but instead of looking at Sakura's face it was Sakura's assets. And her bra was black. Why was he so intrigued by how her boobs looked like? But since those pictures that Kakashi showed him last night he hasn't been able to take his mind off those pictures. Sakura shirtless in short shorts, was the hottest thing he could think off, apart how hot it was in this room. Right now, this was the most awkward position he had ever been. More awkward and uncomfortable that Karin made him feel, scratch that, he was actually disgusted. Sakura leaned over, trying to adjust one of the straps of the shoulder helmet, squishing her breasts onto Sasuke's face. Sasuke was in heaven. Sakura's breast on his face was the best thing ever. He could hide a blush creeping on his face. He wished he didn't get a nose bleed or else it would be one of those awkward moments when you just won't look at that person the same ever again.

"Okay… done!" she smiled as she backed out, fixing her tank top.

Bitch! She that on purpose!

"You look red! Is it this hot?" Sakura fanned herself with her hand.

"If you didn't stick your boobs on my face…" Sasuke mumbled.

"Huh?" Sakura looked over him.

"Nothing, you have a pretty face…" Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Excuse me?" Sakura set her fists against her hips.

"My passion is to glare?" Sasuke tried to cover up his mistake with something stupid but it turned out to be stupider.

"Now really?" Sakura glared at him.

"Erm… lunch?" Sasuke brought his hand behind his neck in embarrassment.

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck diggidy fuck. That's what was going through his mind. Not the verb form, but the noun form. The one you use when you mess up big time.

"Sure…" Sakura responded rather suspiciously.

"Umm…. Great, my place or your place?" Sasuke asked.

This was more awkward when he tried to have sex with one of Orochimaru's students and at the end they basically didn't show up. Actually Sasuke killed her. He couldn't stand the awkwardness, but this time it was Sakura. If he killed Sakura the whole village would be after him and it would be kind of weird to explain why he killed Sakura. Deep inside, Sasuke was super afraid of the world, when everyone saw him as the boss.

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><p><strong>Okay! I've updated three days in a row and I deserve an award... REVIEWS! Thank you to all of you who reviewed! I am really grateful for all the reviews! So about the brace, they almost made me wear one but I just wear a cloth tape that takes out the stress off the joint. still I can't get over the fact how awesome the reviews were. they were so awesome they radiated awesomeness with neil patrickson on a unicorn while stairway of heaven was playing on the background. they were that awesome. so awesome that Robert Downey jr.'s got nothing on them. Seriously, so awesome Led Zeppelin would question to get back together if they saw the reviews~! Okay, back to the story, so how did you like it? was it awkward? I kinda based this on some personal experiences that once my friend josh told me, how he went to the hospital for his collar bone and the nurse practically raped him with her boobs. and she even made him take of his shirt and basically feel him up while I WAS in the room. it was gross. If I want to watch porn I just get on my computer and watch it. Seriously! nurses these days! jeesh! okay! enough about awkward moments, perverted nurses and Neil Patrickson on Unicorns! I expect every single one of my readers to watch harry potter the last movie, coming out in america on july 15th! so make a difference and get off your couch, brush off your potato chips, walk your dog, dress up and go watch that movie! hope to see you in the reviews!<strong>

**love,**

**-Emma~!**


	4. Picture to Frame

**Disclaimer, do not own naruto in any shape or form.**

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><p>"hn…"<p>

"What?" Sakura slurped her ramen noodles down her throat.

"hn…"

"Sasuke, knock it off…" Sakura sipped her water and went back to eat her ramen.

"hn…"

"Kami dammit! What is it already?" Sakura slammed her fists on the table.

"…hn…."

"You know, I think this 'hn' thing must be an Uchiha thing…" Sakura went back to slurp her ramen.

"hn…"

"….pussy…." Sakura laughed.

"I can't eat…" Sasuke admitted in defeat.

"How come?" Sakura asked, setting her chop stick down, leaning over to Sasuke.

Sasuke's right arm was dead. He couldn't use it. And let's just say he wasn't lefty loose. His left hand tried to grasp the concept of picking up a pair of chopsticks, driving them to the styrofoam cup, picking up the noodles and taking them back to his mouth. It seemed pretty simple, but Sasuke wasn't the ambidextrous, coordinated kind of guy. Whenever he tried to pick up the stick and drive some noodles to his mouth he would try to reach out with tongue which miserably failed.

"Okay, let me help you." Sakura picked up his chop sticks, bird feeding Sasuke.

"Better?" Sakura smiled.

"hn… whatever…" Sasuke looked away in embarrassment.

" I feel like I have to baby sit a little kid! You're adorable but at the same time you try to prove you are capable of being independent…" Sakura giggled while Sasuke pouted.

"I can't believe I fell so low…" Sasuke pouted even more.

"It's okay, these things happen time to time…" Sakura picked up a noodle at set it on Sasuke's mouth.

"Hn…" Sasuke winced as he slurped the noodles.

"Open wide!" Sakura formed an 'O' with her lips while giving ramen noodles to Sasuke.

"I'm not a baby!" Sasuke complained.

"You're still a baby in my eyes…" Sakura pouted while she tried feeding the noodles to Sasuke.

"I'm not a baby…" Sasuke crossed his arms and looked at Sakura dead serious.

"Oh! Little Sasu-chan is getting cwanky, better get him a nap!" Sakura pinched one of his cheeks while Sasuke just kept his murderous glare.

"C'mon, finish your noodles and I'll let you crash on my couch!" Sakura bribed him.

At the speed of light, Sasuke ate the noodles hanging on her chop sticks and with his left hand he took the Styrofoam cup and drunk the whole thing in a gulp.

"Done." Sasuke still looked at her dead serious.

"Fine… I guess I can't play Sasu-chan is a baby anymore…" Sakura picked up the cups and threw them away.

Sasuke walked over Sakura's couch. He had some sort of addiction of crashing that couch. He loved the couch, over all he thought the nice color and feel it had that couch, or maybe because when he crashed to that couch the light didn't directly hit him in the eyes, or maybe it was because of the overly plushy cushions of the couch. After all he had a secret stash of clothes under one of the couch's cushions, just in case he came in drunk or badly injured and the next day he didn't have anything to wear. Sakura even kept a spare men's shampoo on her shower. Sasuke ley down on the couch, extra careful not to bash his shoulder against the couch and stared to the sealing for a while. The fatigue and tiredness took longer than usual to kick in so he just turned on the TV.

"Sasuke, I'm going to take a shower! If you need anything give me a shout or something!" Sakura yelled from the hallway.

"Hn!" He groaned.

"Cool!" Sakura called back.

Sasuke was sprawled all over the couch. If he spent a bit of more time in that couch he would merge in with the couch, instead of the Sage Toad mode that Naruto possessed, Sasuke would be Sage Couch mode. That would make him such a drag, Shikamaru would be jealous.

He ignored the chattering on the TV. Instead he decided to look around the room with his eyes. He always did that. Sasuke had some sort of thing for Sakura's apartment. He thought it was 'cute'. All the furniture matched and it had that nice smell to it. He wished he could live in there. Trade apartments with Sakura became on top of his to-do list. He didn't like his flat. It was too cold. Too dusty, and it all looked really gloomy. Too blue and gray for his taste. Suddenly, on the corner of his eye he saw a picture sticking out under the couch. The corner of the picture was black and blue. He figured out it was some sort of magazine that Ino might have left there in accident. But then he pulled out the picture out of curiosity and found out that it wasn't a magazine. There was a pole in the middle of the picture and Sakura was holding on to that pole, sending a kiss to the audience. She had short shorts and a black bra. He stared at that picture for almost 10 minutes straight. She was… there was no words to describe that picture. She was hot, but at the same time she had some decency, even though you could tell in the picture she was drunk out of her mind. Now, he didn't have to go to Kakashi's place and beg for one of these. It was his lucky day.

Soon, the shower turned off. Ceasing the constant rain like noise on the other room. Sasuke grabbed the picture and stuffed on his pocket. Suddenly, his pocket felt a ton heavier than before. Maybe it was his gilt that he had a picture of his childhood friend who spent half of her teenage years looking for his ass, which she was completely, almost half naked, picture. And he liked it. it felt dangerous, like those times he risks doing something but you feel even more badass doing it.

"I thought you were asleep…" Sakura came out the hallway wearing a white tank top and some old gray sweats.

"I tried…" Sasuke lay down the couch, sighting.

"Oh, well…" Sakura put her hair up in a messy bun, letting some of her hair strands to fall around.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned.

"What?" Sakura sat on the sofa, grabbing Sasuke's feet and setting them on her lap.

"…Hn…"

"You know, sometimes you make everything so much awkward…" Sakura sighted.

"Hn…"

"Go to sleep, you're getting cranky." Sakura sighted while she caressed Sasuke's feet.

"Hn…"

And in no time, a light snore filled the room as Sakura's fingers ceased to glow green chakra.

"Finally…" Sakura got up, and left his friend sprawling on the couch.

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><p><strong>Hahahaha I read of all the reviews! Sasuke kind of is miserable... kind of? nah, like reeeeaaaally miserable. Okay so thank you for all the reviews! I guess there will be another chapter coming today because I have a fever and I'm getting kind of sick. a couple days before the meet. this is horrible. I feel the end of the world is coming near. Well not too near, I still have to finish naruto else. but you know how it rolls with Kishimoto, one maybe two chapters of action and then thirty chapters of flashback, so we better enjoy the new manga, which by the way, IT. WAS. AMAZING! but still, that doesn't change the fact that I feel like crap. like really, I feel like crap. I don't know what's going on a body but in the span of six months I've been sick 5 times, had three swimmers ears, Knee tendon displacement, a broken foot and shoulder laxity. I guess that makes me more miserable than Sasuke because my boyfriend has been bird feeding me for a while. Actually I can eat fine, but he insists because he says I look like a bird. I don't know what a bird has to do with me when I'm 5'9, have a six pack (thank god! about time!) and know about five languages has to do with a bird. well anyways, I hope that everyone is doing fine, please drink a lot of juice, wear sunscreen and don't go out with strangers! stay beautiful!<strong>

**love**

**-Emma~!**


	5. Can I Be Your Wingman?

**Disclaimer: I do not own naruto.**

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><p>"Dobe! Where have you been?" Naruto shouted from the other side of the training ground.<p>

"hn…" Sasuke looked away and dug his left hand into his pocket.

"What happened to your shoulder?" Naruto threw the kunai knife against the wood dummy and brought his hands to the back of his head.

"hn…" Sasuke groaned.

"It appears Sasuke-kun has shoulder laxity judging by the brace and angle of the shoulder." Sai appeared behind his back, scaring the bejesus of Sasuke, but he kept it cool.

"So?" Sasuke tried to keep it cool.

"I think having injuries makes you look more badass!" Naruto smirked.

"Sasuke doesn't have a bad ass…" Sai leaned over to pat Sasuke's butt.

"What the… Sai!" Sasuke turned around to see Sai happily smiling.

"In fact, it's really hard…" Sai smiled.

"That is so creepy in so many levels…" Naruto slouched, looking at him awkwardly.

"Enough, this is a training ground, not some cheap yaoi convention." Neji walked over to the three man group.

"Hey Neji…" the trio waved.

"What happened to your shoulder?" Neji asked concerned.

"Yea, my day was fine…" Naruto said crushed, Neji totally ignored him.

"Nothing really… just a small scar…" Sasuke tried to act coolly.

"A small scar? C'mon, you were groaning and moaning because of the pain on our way back here!" Naruto gave away the reality while he pointed towards Sasuke.

"You are never going to change, are you?" Sasuke glared at him.

"so what really happened?" Neji crossed his arms over his chest, thinking he is almighty. Heh! If he knew how almighty was the only heir of the Uchiha clan, who killed… well, 'swallowed' Orochimaru… and killed… Well that's not the point. Sasuke was still three times… No five times… Not enough… Infinite times beyond superior that that Hyuuga brat!

"He has shoulder laxity!" Sai popped up behind Sasuke.

"Seriously? That's the most ridiculous injury ever!" Neji laughed at him.

"And what do YOU know about injuries!" Naruto snickered.

"Because that's a girl injury, Hinata and Ino already had it…" Neji snickered back.

"My dear Hinata had this god ridden injury? I must go and tend the remains of the wound while is still fresh!" Naruto ran out of the training ground leaving a trail of dust after him.

"Well, now where am I supposed to get a wing man?" Neji sighted.

"I can be your wing man!" Sai proposed.

"I don't think you get the concept of wing man…" Sasuke criticized.

"Well, I suppose a wing man is a man who basically is your wing, so you hang on the man's arm and try to flap around like a wing to get the ladies' attention!" Sai said. Sometimes he took idioms to the extreme.

"You have to be pulling my leg!" Neji face-palmed.

"Neither Sasuke or I have your leg!" Sai smiled.

"Your babies are going to be dumb." Sasuke sighted.

"So dumb…" Neji echoed.

"So can I be your wing man?" Sai asked.

8888

Sakura looked everywhere for Sasuke. Where the hell was that little prick! He had this habit of leaving without a warning; she bet it was a childhood thing. And when he left without a warning nasty things happen, and this time he is badly injured. Sakura watched Naruto run around Konoha , shouting something about Hinata and shoulders… Her friend was crazy. Actually, according to her friend guide from the magazine she read religiously said none of her friends were normal. Ino is delusional, Sai is a psychopath, Kakashi is a pervert, Naruto is always overly happy, but can't stay seated on his butt longer than five seconds, Shikamaru has no motivation what so ever, Hinata is too shy, and Choji… let's leave that word alone, it's taboo.

She decided to look for Sasuke in the most obvious places he would be if he was injured. The training ground. He had this habit of going off to the training grounds when he was injured, but then when he was fine Naruto had to drag him there. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Sasuke might be doing something completely idiotic like fighting someone or trying to score with the ladies. Actually, he usually stayed away from girls. Judging by him not being around with girls has something to do with Karin and lots of alcohol. Well, that's not the point here, Sasuke was missing and it could be really bad if Sakura wasn't there.

"No!" Sakura heard Neji shout.

There, Sasuke must be there.

"Sasuke you son of a-" Sakura appeared from over the walls of the training grounds and with her massive chakra super punch, she drove a punch inches away from Sasuke's feet.

"Wha—Sakura!" Sasuke flew in the air,

"Shit!" Sakura quickly recovered and caught Sasuke in midair.

"Sakura!" Sasuke yelled.

"Dammit Sasuke! What are you doing wandering alone?" Sakura shouted at him.

"I am not a kid!" Sasuke shouted back.

"I know you're a kid but you're injured!" Sakura reasoned.

"You should probably do what she says…" Neji flinched at Sakura.

"The offer still stands, can I be your wing man?" Sai smiled.

"The hell Sai! Of course not!" Neji shouted at him.

8888

"What the hell! What are you doing!" Sasuke demanded while Sakura dragged Sasuke across Konoha.

"What do you thing I am doing? I'm taking care you! You idiot!" Sakura yelled.

"But you don't have to be so violent!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Says who? You _tried _to stab me!" Sakura remembered back to when Sasuke still was against Konoha.

"Touche…" Sasuke gave in.

"You know… I am doing this because I want you to get better…" Sakura stopped on her footsteps.

"Really now…" Sasuke got onto his feet and whipped his clothes clean.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have freaked out…" Sakura sighted.

"Hn…" Sasuke cracked his neck joints

"You really shouldn't do that…" Sakura pointed out.

"I know…" Sasuke groaned.

"I'm sorry…" Sakura felt guilty again.

"You're forgiven…" Sasuke groaned again.

"Can I crash on your couch again?" Sasuke asked.

"No…" Sakura sighted.

"hn…" Sasuke groaned again.

"My neighbors think we are married." Sakura said.

"My neighbors think I'm dead…"

"Can I crash in your place?" Sakura asked.

"hn…"

"It's either yes or no…" Sakura demanded.

"hnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….. Fine….." Sasuke breathed.

"Thanks…" Sakura looked into his deep black eyes, while she embraced him in a hug.

"No problem." Sasuke started walking. Enjoying the company of the little nurse while walking home after a long day.

"So we will have take out for dinner right?" Sakura asked.

"hn…" Sasuke answered.

Yes, they will have take out of dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello my little reviewers! how's it going!, I am sick beyond belief and its disgusting... Arg! and Junior Olimpics are in two weeks! Oh well... I'll just have to recover... Okay!... So how do you like this chapter? I did this a little more extra awkwardish because I know you guys like awkwardness, right? Oh yes you do! don't denny it! well I want to do a shout out to annee loves Sasusaku because I'm reading iSakura, and I swear, funniest, fluffiest, loveliest, super dramatic, youthful (You'll get the joke if you read it...) story ever know to mankind... well womankind, because I mean, men? C'mon, I know sexism is wrong, and wrongness if for men. well moving on! read that story! seriously! IT. WILL. BLOW. YOU. AWAY! enough about shout outs! please review review review review reaview... I know I spelled the last 'review wrong' but I'm too lazy to go back and erase it, it's to much of a pain to do it, maybe I'll do it if you gimme reaviews! see! I spelt it wrong so it bothers you so much you HAVE to review! okay, enough of my chattering! to everyone, please stay beautiful and wear lots of sunscreen!<strong>

**love**

**-Emma~! **


	6. I Was Born in a Party, No, Seriously

Disclaimer: Do not own naruto.

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><p>"There is this huge party going on tonight!" Ino squealed while she busted through the door.<p>

"You are almost to pop out, and you are going to a party?" Sakura asked.

"C'mon, they said they put me in labor next week!" Ino answered.

"You are the most irresponsible mom ever…" Sakura sighted.

"Well, that wasn't why I busted through your door." Ino snickered.

"Okay, why would a preggeres like you burst through my door?" Sakura crossed her arms.

"Because… There is going to be a party…"

"And…"

"I need someone to go with…"

"You know, the last time I partied with you, it ended with me dancing on a pole. Shirtless" Sakura shot a glare, still clearly embarrassed.

"C'mon, everyone probably forgot about that!" Ino laughed.

"Rock Lee showed up to my house. Sai, Sasuke, and Naruto saw pictures. Those pictures were taken by my teacher. Yea… I don't think anyone forgot…" Sakura sighted.

"Still, that's not a good excuse why we shouldn't go out!" Ino smiled.

"Okay… Sasuke is injured—"

"Sasuke is going" Ino stated.

"Why?" Sakura demanded, how come there was a party and her best friend didn't tell her!

"Neji needs a wing man, he is desperate for Tennie." Ino suddenly got serious.

"Sai can be a great wingman…" Sakura suggested at the memory of his psychopath friend and teammate.

"Last time Sai was a wingman he dressed up as a wing and clung to Naruto's arm…" Ino sighted.

"Seriously, your husband has the same range of common sense as a pineapple…" Sakura sighted along.

"Lies! We have the best sex in Konoha!" Ino shouted at her, defending her idiotic husband.

"I really didn't need to know that…" Sakura's face churned in disgust.

"Just sharing some common knowledge…" She blond girl smirked, remembering all of her bedroom adventures with Sai.

"He's a psycho." The pink vixen mumbled.

"Your mom is a psycho." Ino shot back.

"Touché!"

"So… are you coming?" Ino pleaded pinky to come along to the party.

"…..hn…. fine…." Sasuke was really rubbing off her.

* * *

><p>It was still really hot even though it was eight thirty seven pm. Sasuke opened his door to go out for Neji, so they could go clubbing, well, actually Neji bribed Sasuke with more pictures of Sakura half naked dancing on a pole, clearly photoshoped. It was clearly really hot. The dogs stayed under the shades to avoid the hot sun on the twilight state, while the beetles sung their summer song. But even though it was rare peaceful day in Konoha, it was still unbearable hot. He didn't know what was worst, the fact that he was wearing a white wife beater and he was going to get pit stains, or the horrible sensation of the shoulder wrap sticking to his shoulder because it was wet with sweat.<p>

"hn…" That was his response.

He walked to the spot where all the guys were going to meet up. He walked out to the street and enjoyed the afternoon sun shining on his face, even though his skin was starting to get moist. He went down the main street until Sasuke reached Icharaku ramen, (number one meet up spot according to Naruto).

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto waved obnoxiously.

"Hn…" He lifted his hand in salute.

"Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaady!" Rock Lee did one of his meticulous back flips while he landed on his usual pose.

"Let's go, we need to get there early, before it gets cramped…" Neji said, obviously annoyed of Lee's presence.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned, he was in the same ship as Neji.

"C'mon! It's going to be fun!" Naruto jumped onto Sasuke, closing his head in a headlock and ruffled his hair.

"stop!" Sasuke groaned.

"It is going to be a Youthful afternoon!" Lee started crying tears of joy down his round eyes.

"Could you stop it with the Youthfulness?" Neji groaned.

"No wonder why he can't get a girl…" Naruto whispered.

"What did you say?" The long haired fellow asked. Scratch that, demanded.

"Ermm… We could go out for a grill?" Naruto hoped his earing wasn't as good as his sight.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned.

"Yes! A Youthful afternoon with all of this youth together! In a club full of youthfulness and youthful babes dancing youthfully…" Lee started his own pep talk on the corner.

"K', get bushy brows here and let's go." Neji cocked his head at the bowl cut guy and walked away.

"Yo! Lee, youthfulness is waiting us in the club!" Naruto grabbed Lee by the collar of his shirt.

"Let's go youthfully to the club!" Lee started to shed tears again.

After fifteen minutes of youthful talking, Lee finally shut up. Naruto had to give him a handkerchief so he could dry his emotional tears while he talked about his youthful life. Gai sensei was really rubbing off on him. Lee might be twenty three, but all he could think about was youthfulness. Neji was starting to get annoyed at his companions and he started to play with that word. At the end, companion was short for comPAINion. There, he did it, and he was satisfied. He liked how that word turned out. Sasuke could only think to get Sakura drunk enough to see if this time she would really take off her bra. Maybe even her panties. But he decided, to get a short cut, he could use his sharingan to literally undress her with his eyes. Sometimes, Sasuke loved being an Uchiha. Sharingans are the best kind of visual jutsu. Maybe a Byakugan was kind of better, but with a Sharingan, you could do anything if you killed your brother… wait… never mind, they suck now.

The club was packed. When Sasuke means packed, meant that he had to be groped, touched, and ass slapped by everyone. It was awfully annoying because Sasuke wasn't really into public physical contact. It was just gross, just like Karin used to nag him, and her hands were always all over him, it was gross, thank Kami she is gone. But still, he highly disliked when people touched him in a frisky manner. If you're going to feel someone up, at least do it right.

"Woah! This place is full!" Naruto started to nod his head to the beat.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned in pain as he felt his shoulder cram.

"Kay, Sasuke, Naruto, you know the drill, right?" Neji asked.

They both nodded as they walked into the jungle of dancing people and stupid drunktards.

* * *

><p>"Ino! Gimme more shhh…. shhh…. SAKE!" Sakura was drunk out of her mind. Again. She couldn't resist the urges of that delicious sinful liquid, called sake, which made her tingly and warm inside.<p>

"Sakura! You're drunk! Again!" Ino scolded Sakura.

"And I l—like…. I—like it!" Sakura was really drunk.

"Sakura, we have to get you home…" The blonde girl grabbed Sakura by the arm.

"I—Ino… I want to parteh!" Sakura raised her glass, which immediately fell on the floor, cracking into a million pieces.

"Sakura! We have to pay for that!" Ino yelled.

"Parteh… like… Oh! It's Sasuke!" The pink headed drunk noticed his friend standing awkwardly beside Neji, and for what she noticed, Sasuke wasn't really comfortable.

"Sakura, you're way too drunk…" her pregnant friend begged her.

"I—I just… Just—A what the hell!" Sakura waved her arms around.

She walked… never mind that, she kind of walked, and tried not to trip on her heels, which she already tried to stay in balance but by the next step she took, her equilibrium was off. She was extremely drunk, to the point that she will have to perform a jutsu on her liver next morning in order to valance the sugar level in her blood stream.

* * *

><p>"Yea, Neji is a great guy…" Sasuke lied. Neji was the most selfish, son of a bitch he'd ever met. Not only is he snobby, but he has no respect to the Hyuuga heiress.<p>

"Oh! I've heard!" Ten Ten Laughed, but her smile never reached her eyes. She was also clearly annoyed by the situation.

"Erm… yeah, so I heard you have your own Team of genin now…" The long haired boy… man… young adult, said, awkwardly.

"I—I just… Just—A what the hell!" Sasuke turned his head around to see Sakura waddling to where he was standing.

"Umm… excuse me for a sec…" Sasuke pat Neji's shoulder and he set out to find his very drunk friend.

Sakura was very drunk. She had the red blush on her cheeks, which clashed horribly with her hair. Her tank top was loosened from all the parting and her shorts rigged up a few inches, showing her milky skin. She bumped against Sasuke hard and started laughing uncontrollably. She was super drunk.

"Sasuke… HIC! You—You're hot!" Sakura laughed.

"Excuse me?" The black haired fellow, with the chicken butt hairdo asked.

"You're… HOT!" Sakura slurred.

"Sakura, you're slurring…" Sasuke grabbed the rosette by her shoulders and started at her face.

"I speak… I—speak in… currr…. Curr….. Cursive!" Sakura laughed at her speech.

"Let's get you out of here…" Sasuke grabbed her by her upper arm.

"No! I donch… want to GO!" The rosette immediately started to get away from Sasuke's death grip.

"Sakura, you're making a scene…" Sasuke growled.

"Do you—do you want so see…. To see a real… scene?" Sakura giggled.

Sasuke stopped at his feet and let Sakura escape from his death grip. He stared at her friend as she giggled and suddenly, everything was blurry. He felt Sakura's warm lips against his. She nibbled on his bottom lip, while her hands where traveling under his white wife beater. Sasuke was confused. He had two options, either he went with the flow, or stop her and get her out of the bar. But then he decided something. Go with the flow, and then after she was done with the kiss, they would leave the bar, and maybe, just maybe, he will score with the girl of his most sexual dreams.

The kiss did last long. Sakura's tongue warned to go inside Sasuke's mouth and down his throat. It was the hottest kiss he had ever experienced. His hands were set on her cheeks, bringing her close to his face, while he returned the kiss with the most passion an Uchiha could have. Which by the way, Uchiha men might be stone cold, but they were reserved for trivial situations. In between kisses, Sakura gasped for air, moaning in pleasure and sighting his name along a hot string of curses with made him growl. This was the hottest kind of PDA Sasuke ever experienced.

"O MY FUCKING GOD! MY WATER BROKE!" That scream stopped the whole flow of the club. Every one stopped dancing, and the music also halted. Every single pair of eyes was stuck on Ino.

"DON'T JUST STARE! I'M GOING TO LABOR!" Ino yelled as the puddle around her feet expanded.

"Fuck!" Sasuke yelled frustrated.

* * *

><p>"Oh Kami… call Sai… CALL SAI!" Ino yelled as she was being taken to the hospital by Naruto.<p>

"Ino, he already knows, he already is there!" Naruto was stressed out as he jumped through the roof tops at a neck breaking pace.

"Oh Fuck!" Ino groaned as the contractions took a hold of her.

"C'mon, hold him in for a while; this is one of my favorite shirts!" Naruto scolded his hysterical blonde friend.

"THE FUCK NARUTO! I'M BASICALLY GIVING BIRTH TO A BABY! AND YOU'RE THINKING OF YOUR FUCKING SHIRTS?" Ino yelled at Naruto, which he believed the whole village heard that.

"Calm down! Jeez! We are finally here!" Naruto said as he busted through the hospital doors.

"ARGH!" Ino moaned in pain as Naruto sat her on a wheel chair, and then busted through the ER doors of the hospital.

"You can't go further from this point on, only family…" One of the nurses stopped Naruto right at the ER doors.

"But she's my friend!" He yelled at the nurse.

"I'm sorry it's protocol…" The nurse excused herself.

"Okay… fine… Gimme a call when everything's fine…" Naruto slouched and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it took so long to update, but I've been really stressed this past week. the good news is Sasuke Uchiha finally kisses Sakura! the bad news is Sakura was drunk. Okay! so what is happening in my daily life? to much water! I missed the Harry Potter premier because my fucking coach made me swim for five hours, three at five am, and two and six, so when i got home I was super tired. And I was so frustrated I got so mad at her I didn't go this morning, just to get her back, but now I really regret it. but anyways... How do you like this chapter? I love it! I think it's the perfect mix of awkward and drunk love. just how i like it! Okay, I hope everyone is fine, and don't forget to stay beautiful!<strong>

**love**

**-Emma~!**


	7. Dumb Babies Anyone?

disclaimer:do not own Naruto.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Miss Ino, we need you to push…" Yuki, the new Kunoichi mumbled, clearly bored of a long night in the Konoha ER.<p>

"THE FUCK YUKI! I'm having a baby here and you have no interest!" Ino yelled at the nurse.

"Well, I'm sorry, I could just easily walk away and get another nurse… oh wait! There are no other nurses!" The brunette nurse shot back.

"Just deliver the baby." Sai, with his stoic expression beamed Yuki, which she took that as a "If-you-don't-deliver-this-fucking-baby-I'll-fucking-kill-your-family-and-make-you-watch-then-I'd-kill-you"

"Fine…" Yuki concentrate her chakra infused fingers around Ino's labia so the stretching wouldn't take much of a toll.

"Okay, Ino, relax and breathe deeply, when I say three, push as hard as you can." Yuki seemed more motivated.

"Okay…" Ino sighted in pain.

"one... two… three! Push!" Yuki set her palms, glowing with chakra on Ino's crotch to ease the pain.

"Hnng! Fuck!" Ino yelled.

"C'mon…" Sai sat beside her, unsure of what face he should make, and was debating to let go of Ino's hand and check how to make a face in that certain situation, or how to find words of encouragement.

"Ino, I can see the head peeking out—"

"Kami fucking dammit! And you think I can't feel it? It's fucking stretching me out!" Ino yelled.

"Ino, calm down." Sai said stoically, holding onto Ino's hand.

"And you tell me to calm the fuck down? I'm giving birth to a fuck—Ah! Fuck!" Ino yelled as she pushed hard enough to pull out entirely the head of her baby.

"C'mon, one more push!" Yuki was already desperate to get the baby out of her bickering patient, clean it and then go out to take a smoke.

"Fuck! Sai, this baby better be worth it!" Ino growled as she felt the baby exit her.

"Okay… finally… we got this out of you…" Yuki wrapped the baby in a blanket, cut the umbilical cordon, and gave it a quick bath.

"Can I see my baby?" Ino sighted in the after pain of giving birth.

Yuki fitted the baby clothing on the little blonde baby, and wrapped it with love. She cradled the baby and gave it to Ino. The blond reached out for her baby exhausted from the labor, not to mention the energy she wasted partying. Sai's face was priceless. He was stoic as ever, but this time, a tear dropped from his left eye. He continued to sob, and smiled. But this time it wasn't fake. This time, he had seen one of the most heartwarming, and emotional moments of his life. He was a dad. One of the little, but greatest feelings he ever felt.

This kind of feeling was alien for Sai. It filled his chest with pride, to know that he could brag to his friends the joys of parenthood, which he could brag how lovely his wife was, publicly and intimately. Sai felt like the greatest man on earth. Not even Pain was able to comprehend to what level of godliness Sai was feeling. He was a dad.

8888

The acid taste of bile rose again for the fourth time that morning. Sasuke was holding a towel and her hair while Sakura emptied her guts on Sasuke's toilet. She puked, sticking her head inside the toilet bowl, trying not to spill any puke outside the toilet bowl. This sucked big time. Not only did it suck, but she remembered everything about last night. This time, she made a vow not to drink and sleep with Sasuke in a bath tub, while they ate ramen. Ever. But this was more embarrassing. Sasuke, her childhood crush was watching her throw up her guts on his toilet bowl. Sasuke on the other hand, at least can hold his alcohol and not have a hangover. But according to the events yesterday in the bathtub, Sasuke needs another brace for his shoulder.

"Are you feeling better?" Sasuke asked while he lent the towel to the rosette so she could wipe her mouth.

"Hn…" She groaned.

"So… last night…" As Sasuke tried to talk about this subject he also felt the bile rise by his throat, but he was able to keep it down. Thank Kami for epistalsy.

Oh fuck.

"Sorry… I was drunk… and tipsy…" Sakura apologized.

"Did that mean anything?" Sasuke's voice was cold.

"If you want a meaning in it go ahead…" The girl mumbled as she tended back the towel.

"Sakura… did it mean anything to you?" His eyes clashed against her gaze. She could see every feeling he felt.

"Sasuke…" Sakura sighted.

"Sakura, just by saying my name doesn't change anything…" The chicken but headed man sighted.

"Sasuke, if you want it to mean something I could show it to you…" Sakura got her tooth brush and started to brush her teeth.

"Sakura, it's not that, did yesterday mean something to you." The chicken head crossed his arms while Sakura rinsed her mouth.

"Fine…" Sakura sighted.

"Hn…"

"It did mean something to me…" The pink haired girl sighted in defeat and blushed instantly.

"Why?" Sasuke felt like pushing the boundaries.

"Because… I've… I've had a crush on you this whole time… since we've met…" Sakura hugged herself while her hair fell around her like a pink halo.

'No shit' that's what Sasuke wanted to say. The room turned quiet for an awkward ten minutes. Sakura felt humiliated and ridiculous. She should keep her thoughts to herself before she embarrassed herself even further.

"Sakura…" Sasuke sighted.

"I know… it's really stupid…" Sakura sobbed, while a gleaming tear fell of her eye.

"Are you crying?" Sasuke asked stoically.

"I'm crying maybe… because you think—you think I'm pathetic…" Sakura cried harder.

"I don't think you're pathetic…" Sasuke tended her a clean towel for her to rinse her tears.

"But…" Sakura stopped on her feet as Sasuke lifted her face with his thumb, then with his other hand, he removed a strand of hair that fell on her face.

"Sakura, I don't think you're pathetic… You're, in fact… really… um…" Sasuke couldn't find the right words he wanted to find, he can't just blurt out 'you're hot!' because that's not what Uchiha males do. Uchiha males keep their cool along their mojo.

"Really what?" she dried her tears.

"Don't tell this to anyone…" He asked the rosette.

Sakura simply nodded.

"I think you're really hot…" The Uchiha heir blushed beyond belief as he tried to cover his blush but it ultimately failed.

Oh god. Most awkward think ever. The tension in the room thickened by the second. Sakura dropped her jaw. The Uchiha heir, prone to have to feelings what so ever, who lately has been developing an awkward façade just called Sakura hot.

"Ermm… Excuse me?" Sakura didn't know how to feel humiliated or flattered.

"Hn…"

"Are you humiliating me?" Sakura asked, obviously offended.

"Sakura I think you're hot! Okay?" Sasuke was kind of stressed out and rand his hand through his hair.

"Woah… why?" Sakura felt super cocky now, the hottest male in the village just called her hot.

"Because you know… great assets… man stuff…" He tried to look away but Sakura laid a hand on his cheek.

"Sasuke…" She whispered.

His breath started to get irregular as they got near to each other's face. Their lips just millimeters away, waiting to be devoured. Slowly, Sakura's soft lips brushed against Sasuke's. Her lips slowly making their way inside, while Sasuke pulled the rosette closer to him. His hands travelled all over her body, memorizing every single freckle, hair, and curve. Sakura's hands where around Sasuke's neck, getting a better grip on her kiss. Slowly Sasuke propped Sakura up on the sink and cut their kiss so he could take his shirt off.

The ace wrap around Sasuke's shoulder's was starting to get moist with the temperature on the room. Sakura broke the kiss so Sasuke could take of her shirt, exposing her breasts to Sasuke, already hard from all the excitement. Sasuke started to nibble all the way down to where Sakura's breast was and started to suck on the little pink bud.

"Fuck…" Sakura sighted while she tilted her head back.

"HEY TEME! OPEN THIS DOOR! INO JUST HAD A BABY!" Aw fuck!

"Aw crap…" Sakura sighted.

"C'mon…" Sasuke put his shirt back on and re adjusted his brace back in place.

"just a sec…" Sakura dressed back too.

Sasuke walked over to the door of his flat, while Naruto's obnoxious knocks warned to tear the door down. He was fuming. Naruto had to ruin his make out session with Sakura. Next training lesson, he was going to fuck him up. Badly.

"OPEN THE DOOR!" Naruto yelled.

"Jeez… patience man…" Sasuke opened the door to find Naruto with dark circles under his eyes and about to faint, yet he had the energy to basically bust through Sakura's and Sasuke's steamy make out session.

"Baby… Hospital… Hi Sakura-chan!" Naruto sighted.

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Ino was laying on the bed while Sai held the little blonde baby. They both smiled at each other, incapable to measure the amount of happiness they both contained. The aura around them was unbearably happy. It was so happy, it radiated unicorns and butterflies. Not only was the room full of glee, but the married couple seemed to have a conversation out of glances.

"Oh… I want one of those… ne, ne! Hinata-chan! Let's have a baby!" Naruto nagged his girlfriend.

"I… Naruto…" Hinata blushed beyond belief.

"Ino! Congratulations!" Sakura smiled and gave her a hug.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned.

"Thank you guys for coming…" Ino smiled, while she tried to reach for the baby, but Sai really liked to hold the baby in his arms.

"Have you thought of a name?" The rosette asked, dragging a stool beside Ino's bed.

"Are you sure Hinata? Those things are super cool!" Naruto kept nagging Hinata.

"Could you stop it? gosh… if you had babies they would be dumber than Sai's babies!" Sasuke groaned as he plopped onto the couch.

"Hey! Our babies are not dumb, they just lack of common sense!" Ino growled.

"Ermm… whatever you say Blondie…" Sakura looked away awkwardly.

"No, but seriously Hinata, let's have some babies!" Naruto kept nagging her.

"Naruto… I…" The pearl eyed girl started to blush even darker.

"Dumb babies. Really dumb babies." Sasuke groaned.

"Sasuke! Manners!" Sakura scolded Sasuke.

"But imagine when we have to baby sit those kids…" The chicken but haired male dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"You've got a point there…" Sakura said thoughtfully.

"Lies! They would be the best babies in the whole nation… right Hinata?" Naruto asked Hinata.

"Huh… I guess…" Hinata hid her face in her bangs.

"Reeeeeeeaaaaally dumb babies…" Sasuke groaned.

"You're such a party pooper…" Naruto glared at Sasuke.

"You should be the one talking!" Sakura blurted. Aw crap.

"Wait… what?" Naruto was extremely confused.

"Never mind…" Sakura waved off her comment awkwardly.

"Wait a second! Why were you at Sasuke's flat?" Naruto pointed a menacing finger at Sakura.

"I was drunk… and…"

"Lies! Sasuke's lips were swollen back then… that could mean one thing!" Naruto blurted out.

"That Sasuke stuck his lips onto the vacuum's pump?" Sai asked skeptically.

"Dumb babies." Sasuke sighted again.

"No you brick head! It was Sakura who was sucking Sasuke's lips!" Ino shouted at Sai.

"Dumb brick headed babies." Sasuke sighted again.

"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled at Sasuke.

"Hah! I flew your cover!" Naruto laughed at Sasuke.

"Seriously dumb babies" Sasuke face palmed his face.

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"What now…" Sakura asked as she plopped on Sasuke's couch.

Sasuke sighted and looked at the ceiling for a minute, and then he cocked his head to Sakura. He simple just gave her a 'dunno'. Sasuke didn't know what to do. He wanted to date her friend. But he knew things would get weirder further on. Like, maybe she'll find his porn stash and the picture of her dancing half naked, not only to mention the photoshoped ones that Neji gave him. But dating Sakura would be a new experience to add in his curriculum. Even though he already was experienced in being an ass, an avenger, an idiot, an awkwardly social person, and an Uchiha in many other experiences he rather not to mention.

"I mean… If Ino already figured out then… might as well?" Sakura mumbled.

"Hn…"

"I dunno Sasuke…" Sakura dropped her head and sighted.

"I need time to think…" Sasuke mumbled.

"Wow! The great Uchiha needs time to think! That's a new one!" Sakura spoke that phrase, with sarcasm dripping everywhere.

"Hn…" The black haired fellow groaned.

"Well… I guess I could use some time too…" The rosette whispered.

"Aa."

"That's a new monosyllable…" Sakura whispered again.

"I learnt it yesterday…" Sasuke got side tracked really easily.

"Call me when you made up your mind…" Sakura was almost to cry.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned.

Sakura got up from the couch and walked to the door. She felt mostly humiliated because she though Sasuke didn't return her feelings for her. She opened the door, and left the apartment. Now, back to her flat. Everyone looked way to happy for her, because she felt like shit. She hit rock bottom. There was a moment when Sasuke and her kissed and know he needs a moment to think, but what would everyone say? That she was a whore? That would not be possible. Sasuke was everything but a man whore.

"Sakura!"

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><p><strong>hey guyz! hows it going? okay, I think this chapter is kind of depressing, but still, it can't be all about dumb babies! so, yeah... I really don't want to talk about my life right now because it's getting way too average. so I guess everyone that reads this story has to review! please, please, please, please, please review! okay so everyone remember to stay beautiful and review!<strong>

**love!**

**Emma~!**


	8. Call My Sakura Ugly, and I'll Kill You!

**WARNING: Hey guys, just a warning here, so you know how some of you might hate OCs BUT! my OC is lesbian, so... yeah... no hating on her cuz it's a moral law... I know that OCs might bother some of you but I need a character like her to keep the story as twice as awkward, so just bear with it, either ways she is not one of those crazy ones with crazy powers, she is just an average lesbian shinobi... soo... yeah...**

**DO NOT OWN NARUTO!**

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><p>"Sakura!" Sasuke yelled as he tailed behind Sakura in the crowds of the main streets.<p>

Sakura turned around as she saw Sasuke pushing people from the crowd. He tried to get where Sakura was standing, but it was rush hour and things get complicated at rush hour. From the corner of her eye, Sakura saw something shiny. Wait, it wasn't shiny. It was a black kunai. With a paper bomb. Oh shit. Sakura looked at Sasuke; his eyes were red with the sharingan and already located the black Kunai. Now everything was in slow motion. The black kunai slid past Sasuke while the paper bomb burned.

"Sasuke! Watch out!" Sakura yelled.

Boom!

The people from the streets started screaming as three other black kunai knifes dropped from the sky. Sasuke was lying on the floor, struggling to get up. Then another black kunai. Sasuke's shoulder limited his speed. The brace already broke because of one of the kunai, so his arm was just a bag of meat on his side. Sakura ran to where he was, racing against time so that kunai won't damage his shoulder more than it already is. She raced against the kunai when she finally got to her friend and dragged him out of the way before the kunai pierced his arm.

"Wha-" Sasuke suddenly snapped out.

"Are you alright?" Sakura asked, out of breath.

"Sorry guys! There was a mishap with one of the scrolls!" Tenten appeared from the rooftops the black kunai appeared.

"Tenten! What the hell where you doing?" the rosette yelled.

"Well testing my new scrolls!" Tenten answered back, picking up the kunai knifes.

"What were you thinking? Sasuke is injured!" Sakura yelled.

Tenten stopped where she was. Suddenly she turned around and saw Sasuke with a bloody shoulder. He groaned in pain as he waved off Sakura. He was clearly pissed. He was pissed that he saw the kunai knife head his direction fifty frames before anyone, but his body didn't respond to a back flip because of his shoulder. His black Jonnin rank sweater bas soaked on his right shoulder, and shredded, giving a glimpse of his wounded shoulder.

"Oh. My. God. I am so sorry! I didn't know this would happen!" Tenten turned around and ran to Sasuke.

"It's oka—Ouch!" Sasuke groaned in pain.

"We have to get him to the hospital." The rosette lifted Sasuke by his left shoulder, setting his left arm around her neck while she sat her hand on his lower back.

_'if I only slid my hand a little lower…'_

_**'No! Bad Sakura!'**_

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"Hey Yuki! I was thinking… Do you want to go out?" Lee, who popped out of nowhere on Yuki's smoke break, asked and shoved some red petunias on her face.

"Lee, you are so annoying! Why won't you leave?" Yuki smoked the last bit of her cigarette and threw it away.

"Because! My love for you burns like a thousand twilight afternoons on the seas!" Lee started crying tears of joy as he finished his sentence with his usual pose.

The brunette cursed under her breath. Why do the dorkiest shinobi in the village have to always follow her around? Was it a curse? Or was it because she was a newbie? Either ways, Yuki found this fact highly bothersome and annoying. She couldn't believe these people were twenty two in the brink to twenty three and still acted like some kind of stupid conceited chunnin.

"Yo! Yuki! We got a new patient!" The back door suddenly opened and Yuki felt the ultimate relief. Never in her life had she wanted to go back to work.

"Bye bowl cut." Yuki raised her hand and quickly walked back.

When Yuki entered the room she had been appointed to help the smell of blood and rubbing alcohol hit her nose, making her want to throw up. She took a good moment to picture what was going on. Sasuke, the bitchiest man on the Leaf was badly injured. She didn't know if that was a plus or a minus. Because she never really heard the story, just some mumbles of snakes. The people of this village think is extremely rude to talk about Sasuke and his dark past.

"What happened?" Yuki asked.

"Injured shoulder, I need 10 ccs of anesthesia and sowing tools, now!" Suddenly, Yuki remembered why she wanted to be a nurse so bad. She didn't want to deal with these kinds of situations but she wanted to be the person to yell in the middle of critical surgeries 'we're losing him!'.

"Kay…" Yuki busied herself as she took the required items for this kind of surgery.

"Thanks…" Sakura, her boss, thanked her for the tools as she injected the needle full of anesthetics near Sasuke's wound, halting the twitching and tensing of the muscles.

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"You know, smoking is bad…" Sakura opened the back door of the hospital, finding Yuki drilling through her ninth cigarette that afternoon.

"Whatever…" The brunette let out a puff of smoke before going back to her precious cigarette.

"Hm…"

"What happened between you two?" Yuki asked, with a cigarette between her lips.

"Nothing…" Sakura blushed.

"Yeah… sure…" Yuki finished her ninth cigarette and started her tenth.

"Could you quit it?" Sakura moaned it annoyance.

"Quit what?" The brunette eyed her from the corner of her eye.

"The smoking, it's making my eyes water…" The pink haired girl waver her hand across her face trying to get the smoke out.

"Then quit being a liar, tell me what happen with Chicken butt." Yuki said, mostly annoyed because her life revolved around her precious box of cigarettes.

"Fine…" Sakura gave in to her coworker.

"So… spit it out…"

"So… we… umm… kissed…" Sakura blushed three shades deeper than the red shirt she already was wearing.

"And?..."

"That's it!"

"That's it?"

"You're a disappointment for the female sex." Yuki let out a puff of smoke.

"What?" Sakura felt humiliated for the gazillion time this day.

"I bet it wasn't even that good!" Yuki drilled through her tenth cigarette and threw it to the ground.

"Umm, excuse me? It was one of the hottest kisses of all time!" Sakura crossed her arms.

"Prove it!" Her brunette friend snorted.

"How…" Sakura felt kind of uncomfortable.

"Kiss me and I'll be the judge of that." A smirk on Yuki's face appeared, making her smile like a Cheshire cat.

_'Aw… what the hell!' _Sakura though as her coworker got dangerously close.

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"Sakura?" Sasuke asked for her pink haired friend which showed no signs to be anywhere near his room.

He got up and asked for his friend a few times more. He got up, oblivious of the fresh stiches in his shoulder. Sasuke had to see Sakura. Immediately. It was a matter of life and death. He walked around the hospital shoeless and shirtless, which he got a bunch of stares from the nurses and a few groans from male nurses. Male nurses, what a joke. He snorted at that thought. He searched for Sakura through the whole hospital and he already got a few warning for walking around unattended with a fresh tended wound on his shoulder.

"Where the hell could she be?" he asked himself as he opened the last door of the hospital.

"Kiss me and I'll be the judge of that"

"What the…" Sasuke stared at the sight.

It was the most glorious sight a man could ever see. Two beautiful women, well, Sasuke found Sakura more beautiful than Yuki, kissing. Yuki's hand's travelled from Sakura's waist to her butt squeezing it under her grasp. Oh god, not again, he already had one of those episode's at Sakura's place and it was super embarrassing to dishonor the Uchiha's cool façade. But then, Yuki deepened the kiss, her hands, which she couldn't fucking keep them to herself, and he was supposed to be on her place right this instant, travelled down to her crotch area, gripping adding pressure between her legs emitting a soft moan from Sakura's mouth.

"You like that huh?" Yuki's voice a deep with lust.

"Sakura." Sasuke blurted out.

Suddenly the two girls halted their kiss. Both of them blushed a shade of deep purple in embarrassment. Sakura jumped away from Yuki, while Yuki seemed disappointed with her coworker's reaction. She was really enjoying that kiss.

"Umm… Sasuke! Weren't you supposed to be in your room?" Sakura tried to fill the awkward silence.

"We need to talk. Now." Sasuke's voice was cold, but Sakura couldn't ignore the blush on his face. Every single man enjoyed girl to girl action.

Sasuke grabbed Sakura by her wrist and entered back the hospital, dragging her back to his hospital room where all his clothing was still untouched on the trash can, due to the smell and it was useless now that it had a hole on the right shoulder of the shirt.

"Sasuke, I can explain…" Sakura mumbled.

"Explain what? That you cheer for the other team?" Sasuke hissed through his teeth.

"She asked me too!" the woman defended her reasons.

"Still, that doesn't change the fact that you are lesbian!" Sasuke yelled back.

"Lesbian…? You think I'm lesbian?" Sakura's eyes widened to the size of two rice bowls, which almost fell out of their sockets.

"Well yeah… you were kissing a girl… and you never pay attention to any other man…" Sasuke whispered in defeat.

"I'm not lesbian… and I don't pay attention to any other man because you are the only one my attention goes too…" Sakura mumbled.

"If you're not lesbian—wait… what?" Sasuke halted his walking and turned over to Sakura.

"I only have eyes for you…" Sakura blushed madly.

There was this awkward silence again. Sasuke already knew that Sakura had the hots for him, but, ignoring the whole male population for him? He must be some kind of god or something. Well, had his own fan club before he left, but when he came back, every single girl ignored him. That damn Sai took the spotlight from him. Sasuke still doesn't get why is Sai, the biggest moron in Konoha, more popular than him? The Uchiha stared at his friend for a while; he didn't know what to do. Yeah sure he found Sakura to be extremely alluring, or else she wouldn't be a guest to his dirtiest dreams, but maybe dating her wouldn't hurt so badly.

"Sasuke… I always loved you…" Sakura mumbled.

_'softie' _

"Sakura…" Sasuke walked over to her.

Suddenly his vision became blurry. No, not now! He was about to get booty when suddenly, his teammate's hair was just a blur of pink on his view. Her yells became distant due to the fuzziness of his ears. His head pondered and his right arm felt numb. The chakra flow to his shoulder was interrupted, setting a barrier around his joint that would allow anything to get in or out. His cartilage was inflamed and the muscles around the joint became stiff, while the ligaments transformed into noodles.

"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled.

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"So he's been out for two days? And passed out after you confessed his love?" Yuki drilled through her eleventh smoke that hour.

"See? Sasuke is a pussy…" Naruto slurred while he drained the Sake supply of Konoha's favorite club, the Drunken Leaf.

"I bet he doesn't know what love is!" Sai smiled.

"You should be the one talking!" Sakura slurred while she slammed her hand on the table, demanding for another Sake bottle.

"Sakura-chan! So what happened to Sasuke?" Naruto's old obnoxious tone always came back when he had the slighted drop of Sake.

"It seems that his Uchiha genes don't accept anesthetics as well as other people…" Sakura sighted, as she gulped down her drink.

"Well, the only way we can keep Sasuke in check is with anesthetics and chakra infused practices…" Yuki sighted, lighting another smoke.

"I know! Every day, one of us has to stay with Sasuke for twenty four hours and make sure he doesn't pass out on us!" That was Sai's first smart remark.

"You know, after all, your babies won't be that dumb…" Sakura slurred as she drunk the rest of the bottle.

"Well thank you, but I doubt it, my wife might be beautiful, but sometimes she lacks of intelligence." Sai took a sip of his drink and smiled.

"True that, all the way!" Sakura laughed, remembering the moments when Ino embarrassed herself without even knowing.

"Okay, so the least hung over tomorrow has to take care of Chicken butt tomorrow!" Yuki added, gulping down her drink and lightening the thirteenth cigarette of that hour.

8888

Sai woke up. He felt refreshed, and according to the quantity of Sake his stupid friends drunk, they were probably puking their guts out. He smiled of the thought of his blonde friend vomiting on the toilet bowl. Before he left he ate breakfast and gave a good bye kiss to his beautiful wife and his beautiful son. He headed out to Sasuke's place who has previously been moved to his flat due to an amount of wounded because Tenten decided to try out a new scroll.

Sai knocked on the door. He waited thirty seconds until he knocked again, this time louder. He heard some footsteps and a couple of crashes, followed by a string of curses. Later, the door handle opened, reveling a really pissed Uchiha. His hair was spiked up in all directions, his skin twice as white than Sai's tone, and there were deep dark purple eye bags hanging from Sasuke's eyes.

"Hey Sasuke! Sakura told me to drop by for the day so I could keep an eye on you!" Sai smiled.

"Go away…" he groaned.

` "then I'll have to get Sakura to whip your ass." Sai smiled again.

"Fine… get in you moron…" Sasuke sighted in defeat.

The morning started with both of them sitting in the couch. Sasuke was throwing up his guts while Sai just sat there and smiled. Sasuke wasn't having the best time of his life, and never again, he swore, never again he was going to get anyone to inject anesthetics on his body. Not even if it was one of those situations where anesthetics rid him of the ultimate pain. Never. Sai instead sat beside him, reading his stupid friendship books, which after five years of reading them he should have developed some knowledge at least, but something told Sasuke that Sai was indeed, a knuckle head.

"Help?" Sai caressed Sasuke's back who was still throwing up his guts for three hours.

"Uhhhh…" Sasuke threw up again.

"You know you could ask?" Sai smiled.

Sasuke ignored him and emptied his guts inside his bucket.

"Can I get another bucket?..." Sasuke's tired red eyes looked at Sai.

"has anyone told you that after that you use the Amaterasu you look really stoned?" Sai smiled while he lifted his gaze from his stupid book.

"Amaterasu!" Sai's book burned into flames.

Sai threw the book into the bucket of puke, opening a scroll drawing a box and the box popped up. Quickly he took the burning bucket and threw it in the box he drew, smashing it, leaving a residue of ink on Sasuke's pristine while carpet. There were three things precious on Sasuke's life. Number one, his brother, following behind was the picture of Sakura dancing on a pole, and third, his pristine white carpet. Which now was stained with ink. Sai's ink. The guy that replaced him and called him chicken butt. And called Sakura ugly. Now, Sakura might be a lot of things, sexy, hot, desirable, nice, and the list goes on, but ugly? Kami have mercy for his soul that for Sasuke was going to kick his ass all the way to the moon.

"Teme… I'll kill you!" Sasuke threw a punch to Sai, knocking him off from his stance, into the wall.

"Wha—you set my book on fire!" Sai complained, rubbing his cheek.

"You see this? This is a carpet. A darn expensive carpet! You better clean it up before I kill you!" Sasuke growled, but suddenly he dropped on his knees emptying the contents of his stomach on the carpet.

"Crap…" Sasuke whispered.

"I'll clean up the ink, you clean up your breakfast…" Sai said, looking for a mop around Sasuke's apartment.

* * *

><p><strong>hey guys, so see? my OC isn't that bad, she just needs to quit smoking! Oh God, why do I have dysfunctional OCs? with some kind of drug problem or bad habit or something bad... but no obscure pasts! those are too Mary Sue! I prefer to be a Gary Stew before a Mary Sue! and either ways, Mary Sues are for Mary's! (No offense to any Mary readers out there, this is not to be taken seriously, it's just a joke, so don't review my as with "My name is mary and I find this really offensive", offensive my ass, for some reason this things are called Mary Sues!) Okay, so a bit of my personal life right now... I just came back from junior Olimpics, and let me tell you. It seems that Sasuke burnt my back with his fucking Amaterasu, right now I'm getting ready for a milk bath and then I'm going to soak my back with Aloe Vera. Okay... Please please please review! to all of those great reviewers out there! please review! and remember to stay beautiful everyone~!<strong>

**love, and please review... sorry, I just like reading them...**

**Emma~!**


	9. Next Time I See Sai I'll ASDDFJEFI

**WARNING: YURI CONTENTS IN THIS EPISODE, AND DOUBLE DOSE OF SASUKE VS. SAI, BY THE WAY, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**thank you for reading the warning. please review.**

**DO NOT OWN NARUTO.**

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><p>"You think Sasuke is alight?" Yuki let out a puff of smoke out of her lips.<p>

"Do you really have to smoke now?" Sakura plopped down on the chair of their favorite sushi place for a lunch break.

"Did you know I can make rings out of cigarette smoke?" Yuki smiled, and sucked some more from her cigarette and let out some ring shaped puffs of smoke.

"You should stop…" Sakura sighted at her coworker's unhealthy habits.

"Over my dead body! Right now I'm working on the unicorn smokes!" Yuki finished her cigarette and started another one.

"Ugh… Why are we friends…" Sakura sighted and asked for her usual order.

Yuki flicked her cigarette of her mouth and threw it to the ground, squishing the cigarette with her black ninja shoes. She also asked for her usual order. Sakura looked at her intensely; her bright green eyes scanned her brunette friend, memorizing every single feature on her.

"Why did you ask to me to kiss you?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura, that kiss was a 'why not thing'" Yuki replied, picking some chopsticks off the chopstick base.

"Sasuke called me a lesbian because of that…" Sakura held her hand between her hands.

"Wait… are you lesbian or something? 'Cause that would be great!" Yuki smiled as she snapped her chopsticks open.

"Wha-? No! I'm not!" Sakura yelled offended.

"It never hurts to try…" The brunette taunted her.

"See? This is why my love life is miserable…" The rosette face palmed her face.

"Aw! Cheer up!" Yuki smiled.

"Here you go! Chicken Katsu combo with Gyoza dumplings and a tuna sashimi lunch combo!" The waitress served them both their plates.

"Yum!" Yuki directly attacked her plate after giving quick thanks.

"Why am I friends with you…" Sakura sighted again.

"hmm?" Yuki looked up from her plate, her big brown eyes staring at her.

"Nothing…" Sakura grabbed a pair of chopsticks and started meddling with the food.

"Hey, did you hear about the summer fair?" Yuki whipped her mouth with a napkin and attacked her plate again.

"The one with shooting stars?" Sakura asked, intrigued that maybe, she would be able to pull the ultimate move on Sasuke and make him hers.

"Yeah the one with the shooting stars…" Yuki sucked in her noodles and ate a piece of chicken.

"You're wondering if I want to come with you, right?" Sakura played with her food as she spoke.

"Ermm… kinda… you know, so I can be your wing woman?" Yuki smiled.

"You just want to grope me…" Sakura smiled.

"That's only fifty percent of it!" Yuki slammed her chopstick on the table.

"What's the other half?..." Sakura asked.

"Well… If you don't want to go out with me, then I should push you and Sasuke together…" Yuki outdid herself this time. She needed some prize or acknowledgement of her courage to pull Sasuke and Sakura together, making them an item!

"A—Are you sure?" Sakura was ecstatic; this was her chance to end this awkwardness.

Yuki nodded, flashing her a smile. She already had everything planned out. Yeah sure, she might be a the only 'out there' lesbian in Konoha, but when it came to romance, she already watched Tsunade's soap opera collection twice, with director's cut included, and also read the sappiest romance novels in the fire country, so setting up a romance scene was easy as saying 'one two three, come to bed with me!'.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Sakura twitched her eye at Yuki's smile as she finished her plate and lighted a cigarette.

"Call off the afternoon at the hospital, the most gorgeous cherry blossom needs a new kimono!" Yuki let out a puff of smoke in the shape of a cherry flower.

"You know, this might be out of character, but that puff of smoke is one of my favorites!" Sakura smiled, as she reached up and with the swish of a hand the cherry blossom was gone.

8888

The room was quiet. Too quiet for Sasuke's taste. He finally had his carpet cleaned by Sai, but he kept turning on his Sharingan to see that the stain of chakra concentrated ink spill was still there. As a big blue splotch on his view. It bothered him a ton, making him groan and wanting him to suck out the chakra out of the carpet. He would probably get sick again but that would fix the splotch.

"Did you really have to dump the ink here?" Sasuke groaned.

"What else could I do?" Sai smiled.

"You know perfectly that I can turn off the flames of the Amaterasu, right?" Sasuke made it way to obvious.

"Sakura told me not to exert your limits." Sai smiled at him.

"Are you gay or something?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, clearly, not. But you seem more homosexual than I do, seriously, running off to Orochimaru? When he was clearly labeled as a pedophile? And then avoiding every single girl in earth? For a moment I thought that you were gay for Naruto…" Sai kept his gaze on his book.

"Wha-? That isn't… Oh… Oh!..." Sasuke had to be quiet now, Sai had a point.

The room was quiet for one more hour. Sai's head was in his stupid friendship books while Sasuke played with his sharingan.

Sharingan on!

Sharingan off…

Sharingan on!

Sharingan off…

Go go Sharingan!

Sharingan off…

Sharingan!

"You really must be bored…" Sai stated, his gaze fixated on his book.

"No shit…"

"Playing with your sharingan… I bet you're the first one to do so." Sai smiled, his gaze still fixated on his book.

"Ouch…" Sasuke's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

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"Yuki…" Sakura moaned in pain.

"Sakura… it's so tight…" Yuki sighted heavily.

The sweat was rolling off their foreheads as they breathed heavily. Yuki decided to try it again, see if she can get Sakura loose. Her fingers delicately slipped through the entrance and she pumped them, trying to get it loose. But no matter how much she pumped it remained the same. Sakura was sprawled on the floor, her hair around her face like a halo, shining to the dim light. Sakura's breath became irregular and started to groan. There was a thin sheet of sweat on her forehead, adding a sexy glow to her face, while her eyes were half opened, looking at Yuki, who Sat right on her hips, while Sakura lay on the floor.

"Yuki… It hurts…" Sakura moaned.

"Don't worry… its coming loose…" Yuki groaned as she licked her lips.

"Yuki… hurry up…" Sakura yelped.

"Hold on… almost there…" Yuki was now able to fit her whole fist through it and she pulled the fist in until her wrist also came through.

"Yuki… Ouch!" Sakura yelped again.

"What the hell Sakura! You can clearly see that this Obi is way too tight!" Yuki sat on the floor frustrated, her wrist attached to Sakura's Obi.

"Ups… maybe I shouldn't have used my strength like that…" Sakura giggled.

"Okay… Almost there…" With a loud 'pop' the obi came undone, letting Sakura breathe normally.

"Let's try another one; orange doesn't really suit you, babes…" Yuki helped her friend up.

"Aw… I liked orange…" Sakura pouted.

"Honey, because Naruto can pull of orange it doesn't mean you can…" Yuki helped her undress.

Yuki held her breath as the summery kimono fell to the floor, exposing her breasts to the mirror that sat on the corner of the room. Her nipples where hard and pointing towards her from the reflection of the mirror. Yuki tried to ignore the sight but when her hands touched Sakura's milky skin there was no stopping there. The kimono fell to the floor and Sakura stepped out of it and turned around to see her blushing friend. Their faces were inches away from each other, their breaths were audible, as the thumping from each other's hearts that galloped at the speed of light. Sakura wanted to push the boundaries of her body, and either ways, explore a little bit wouldn't hurt.

The gap between her lips closed. The sensation of pleasure hit them both like a train, sending pleasuring electric signal to Sakura's stomach, and there is when she realized something. She enjoyed kissing Yuki, a lot, and it was something she couldn't deny. But then there was Sasuke too, which also made her feel like virgin, even though she was still a virgin. Sasuke also made her feel the same way, he also could pull the plug releasing a million butterflies in her stomach. Does that make her bisexual?

"Yuki…" Sakura moaned.

"Sakura… we should stop…" Yuki pulled away from her.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked.

"Well… I'm lesbian and you have to be faithful to Sasuke." Yuki whispered.

"So? I enjoyed it…." The rosette licked her ear lustfully.

"Sakura, no. It's me or Sasuke. Simple as it is clear…" Yuki crossed her arms.

Sakura sighted. Maybe if the plan with Sasuke didn't work, she would move to Yuki.

"And absolutely no rebounds." Yuki demanded.

Yuki might be in love with her best friend. But she knew better than having Sakura because she can't get over Sasuke. Both ways, Sasuke and Sakura were an item, and she couldn't bring herself to destroy that couple. If they dated they would be the center of attention until they had a ton of babies and then they stole the spot light.

"But…" Sakura whined.

"I'm not joking; I can't afford to meddle with people's love lives…" Yuki helped Sakura to dress back to her red camisole and pink skirt with shorts underneath.

"I understand… sorry…"

"I should be the one apologizing…" Yuki sated dully.

"It's okay…" Sakura zipped up her red camisole and brushed off any dust, setting the orange kimono on its place.

"So the winner is the white one with the cherry blossoms?" Yuki asked with a sad smile.

"Yep…" Sakura lifted the various layers of silk that composed the while kimono with Cherry blossom flowers, that contrasted with hints of green hues across the kimono. The Obi of the kimono was green, and easier to wrap instead of the tangy orange one that Yuki and Sakura spent half hour trying to untie due to the monstrous strength Sakura had.

"Okay… let's go before the clerk lady thinks bad of us…" Yuki helped her with the Kimono and grabbed her kimono pick too.

8888

"Sai! What the—Sai!" Sasuke was desperate.

The walls had been tainted with drawing of birds, monsters, people and whatnot, but every single room of his house was full of drawing. He was never going to fall asleep again with Sai on the loose around his house. Not only the walls were tattooed with bizarre drawings but there was a mustache extending across his face from on cheek to the other.

Sasuke finally got rid of his mustache and he watched with remorse his white walls full of drawings. And he didn't exaggerate when he said full of drawings. They were full of drawings from left to right, top to bottom and upside down. Oh, Sai was dead meat, because some of the ink spilled in the pristine while carpet and some of the stains were permanent. Oh he hated his replacement, and former teammate Sai. He hated him with the passion. And when an Uchiha means passion, it's passion all right!

"Hey Sasuke! Do you like the new decoration?" Sai popped up from the kitchen, clearly up to no good.

"Hey! What are you doing in there?" Sasuke, which he was still weak, dropped on his knees and emptied his guts. Again.

"Well, In the book of friendship it said that when a friend is feeling down or depressed you should change their environment and cook them a meal, to make them feel loved…" Sai went back to his cooking.

"You trashed my apartment!" Sasuke was furious.

"I think it looks nicer than before!" Sai smiled.

Before Sasuke jumped on Sai, beating him half to death, and then beating the other half after a short break, there was a knock on the door. Both looked at the door curiously. Finally, someone came to rescue Sasuke, he couldn't stand his teammate anymore. Oh thank god to the person replacing Sai! Sasuke opened the door with joy as he stared at the two girls standing outside, Yuki and Sakura to the rescue.

"He-!" Sakura was strangled by Sasuke's hug.

"See? That's why we can't do it!" Yuki whispered in her ear.

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><p><strong>Sooo? whacha think? I know, it isn't good as the others, just a filler, but the next episode is so full of epicness and awkwardness! thank you guys for all the get wells, and I had to go to the hospital for the sun burn and it seems I have a form of skin cancer. (FML). BUT! that doesn't stop me from writing! because the cancer isn't that big and it's on the outer side of my left thigh, so now my left thigh is all parched up were the weird and painful mole is... in a couple days I'll get it removed so it's no prob... so anyways... oh god... I'm so depressed... sixteen and I have a form of skin cancer... I just... whatever... at least I lived enough to write the awkward love story between Sasuke and Sakura... Oh well... next update I'll tell you guys how it went... <strong>

**PLEASE STAY BEAUTIFUL AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEAR SUNSCREEN, I don't care if you review, it's just skin cancer sucks orochimaru balls.**

**and don't forget to review!**

**love, Emma~!**


	10. Of Shooting Stars and Duct Tape

**Do not own Naruto**

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><p>The daily checkup for Sasuke's shoulder was done and as weird as it seems, the shoulder was progressing better than anyone expected. Sasuke was now able to roll his shoulder and carry a minimum of ten pounds of weight, so he reminded himself that when punching Sai, not to put greater pressure than ten pounds on his punch. Which would be kind of hard. It was already the third day Sasuke spent being monitored by his teammates and Yuki.<p>

Monday was the worst with Sai, so instead of Sai, Sakura suggested Ino, which made Sasuke rethink about Sai. Tuesday was with Naruto, and they just chilled like men and watched a game on the TV and slept the rest of the day, Wednesday was with Yuki, which she cleaned up the whole apartment and started repainting some of the walls, because of Sai's disaster on Monday. Thursday was with Naruto again because Sakura had an emergency in the hospital. But Friday, Friday was here, and Sasuke was stuck with Sai again because everyone had to get ready for the fair. It seemed that the fair was going to be huge this year because there is actually a shower of meteors on that same night.

So instead of getting into an endless spiral of fights with Sai, which he noticed a pattern on them, of starting an argument about something stupid, then Sasuke calls him gay, Sai replies with the 'Orochimaru excuse and the cursed hickeys', and it ends with Sasuke throwing up again due to the daily checkup and excess of anesthetics in his body. To ignore Sai, Sasuke decided to lock himself up on his room and sleep the whole day. Until he was disrupted by Sai.

"Go away!" Sasuke groaned from his other room.

"Dobe, it's me, Naruto! Believe it!" Naruto yelled.

"How did you get through Sai?" Sasuke opened the door lazily.

Naruto cocked his head and from his room he could see Sai duct taped to the wall. His hands were above his head while his body stood three feet from the floor. It was the most hilarious moment of his life. Not only was he duct taped to the wall but there was lipstick all over his face. Greatest sight ever. He ran back to his room and looked for the camera, took it out and snapped a couple of pictures. This is so going to the newspaper.

"How did you do that?" Sasuke asked coolly, but in the inside he was squealing like a girl.

Naruto pointed at himself with his finger. "Ninja."

_Oh… Oh! Gotcha…_

"So why are you here?" Sasuke asked, still a little dazed from his nap.

"The fair man! I hope you're going!" Naruto smiled.

"No." Sasuke slammed the door on his face.

"Sakura is coming!" Naruto yelled.

"Where is my kimono?" Sasuke opened the door and dragged Naruto inside.

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Yuki and Sakura walked down the streets in their kimonos, ready to pick up Hinata. The dynamic duo, as Sakura nicknamed themselves, finally picked up the third member, transforming the dynamic duo into the triangular trio. The three girls marched happily to the fair, anxious to see the meteor shower. According to Yuki, meteor showers and romance went together like Gai sensei and Rock Lee, so she had the guts to come to Sakura's apartment and dragged her out, promising to be the best night ever (wink wink).

"So… I…Is… Is Naruto coming?" Hinata turned red every single time she talked about Naruto or ramen.

"Yeah, I bet you guys are going to have a blast!" Yuki cheered.

"Remember, name the first kid after me…" Sakura winked.

"And I have to be the Godmother!" Yuki squealed in excitement while she took out a smoke from her sleeve, lighting it with excitement.

"Do you really have to smoke now?" Sakura waved her hand trying to get away from the smoke.

"I told you it keeps me relaxed!" Yuki sucked on the cigarette.

They walked to the fair were Ino and the rest of the crew would meet them. Along the way they stopped at various shops to admire the glowing decoration each shop owner put up on their shops, giving the streets a decorous look. The paper lantern festooned across the streets, shining in the twilight light, softly glowing, with curious designs, and some of them had Naruto's face in it.

The three pampered girls arrived at the summer festival, just in time. The triangular trio, previously nicknamed by Sakura, wandered around the stands, ignoring the presence of the rest of the group. The tree girls walked along the one way street, made of cheap stands, with business owners yelling and promoting their business, their cries drowned with the music and the chatter of the people on the fair.

Suddenly, the whole group was spotted in a Ichiraku stand. Sai, Sasuke, Naruto, Ino, Hinata… Everyone was there, the whole Konoha twelve was grouped around Ichiraku's as Naruto slurped on one of their new inventions, Ramen with fried ice cream. Ino squealed as she saw her best friend, as if she hadn't seen her for ages and ran over to her with the baby one her arms.

"Isn't he handsome?" Ino squealed.

"To think I pulled that thing out of your vagina…" Yuki let out a puff of smoke.

"Not around the baby, you idiot!" Ino took the cigarette from Yuki's lips and threw it to the ground.

"Aw! that was my last one!" She fake cried as she looked at the cigarette sadly.

"Oh my god! It's so cute!" Sakura squealed as she held the baby on her arms.

"Oh! And he's not dumb!" Ino, proudly proclaimed as her pride overflowed from her aura.

"How can… how can you… can you tell?" Hinata rubbed the tip from her fingers together.

"Well, obviously, the baby is blonde, and blondes are smart!" Ino whipped her hair.

"Should we tell her?" Yuki whispered in Sakura's ear.

"Nah… It's not the right time…" Sakura brushed her off.

"Hi-Na-Ta-Chan!" Naruto darted to his girlfriend, pulling her into a tight embrace, the black haired girl suddenly fainted on his arms and passed out.

"Why does she pass out all the time?" Naruto wandered as she picked up the girl bridal style.

"You turn her- "

"Low blood pressure." Ino was quickly cut by Sakura.

"Oh… well… maybe some ramen will fix it…" Naruto smirked as she went back to the ramen stand.

"This boy was the prodigy that saved the whole village?" Ino asked, with her voice filled with sarcasm.

"Hn…" Sakura pulled her 'Sasuke' move.

"You still like the Uchiha?" her blonde haired friend asked, retrieving the baby back from Sakura's embrace.

Sakura didn't know what to say. Her friend Ino was a notorious gossiper. If she said yes, the whole world, from the foggy mist village, to the mountains of the wind country, everyone will know, that Sakura still liked Sasuke. That would bring to opinions about her. One, it's really cute that after all they've gone through she still has a crush on him. Two, she is pathetic because she tried to kill him, and he tried to kill her and vice versa a couple more times…

"Hn…" Sakura resorted again to the Uchiha method.

"You know, sometimes I think he's gay, you know… Sas- UKE… and he spends too much time with Naruto…" Ino's chattering faded in the background. Ino really annoyed Sakura sometimes, and she clearly wasn't over Sasuke, but she married Sai because he could give her all the sweet sex she wanted without and 'Hn's' or 'Aa's'.

"Hey…" Sasuke popped up beside Sakura, dragging her attention away from her really dumb, self-centered, conceited friend.

"Hey…" She mumbled.

"Hey forehead, attention to me!" Ino snapped her fingers at Sakura.

"Let's just ditch her…" Sasuke whispered in her ear.

Sakura blushed madly as the stoic Uchiha grabbed her hand. He slowly pulled her into the crowd of people, losing the sight of their little group. The grasp Sasuke had on her hand was hard, and dragged her down the one way street of the decorated stands, shining with paper lanterns, in the fair light of the moon. Suddenly, they were out of the fair, the dark night, and the silver light of the moon, guided Sasuke into a cherry tree standing atop of a hill. Slowly, Sakura turned around and could see the whole festival from where she was standing. The whole festival shone bright, while the every light in the village was turned off.

Sakura gazed at the sky, and the lights of the fair slowly faded. The voices of the festival cheered as the first meteor fell from the sky, giving off the silver light in the sky. Slowly, more meteors started to fall. The silver threads they left after the trail of dust stayed for instants imprinted in the sky, slowly forgotten and replaced by new silver threads.

"It's so beautiful…" Sakura whispered.

Sasuke gazed at her. Sakura's beautiful hair was pinned up in a traditional hairstyle. But some hair strands actually fell out of her exotic bun into her milky face, toying around her eyes and cheeks. Sasuke lifted up a hand and slowly pulled one of the strands behind her ear, cupping her face with his hand, while Sakura's emerald orbs pierced through his onyx black orbs.

"You are beautiful…" Sasuke whispered, a blush slowly crept through his face.

"…thanks…" Sakura blushed too, sinking her gaze into the ground.

The Uchiha pulled her gaze up, gaining full attention of the rosette and stared at her with 'tender' eyes, if that's what Sasuke thought. Slowly, Sasuke's lip where the center of attention for Sakura, she just wanted to kiss them again and again until Sasuke wasn't able to talk. Sasuke's lips where millimeters away from hers. The tension build upon them, as none of them advanced into the kiss, until Sakura pulled herself together and kissed him.

The small peck obligated the Uchiha to ask entrance to deepen the kiss. His hands travelled around her silky kimono, wandering if the silkiness of the kimono was compatible to how silky was her kimono. Sakura instead reached out to Sasuke's face and pulled her arms around him, deepening the kiss. The butterflies in Sakura's stomach fluttered without any control at all, making the kiss passionate and romantic. Suddenly, Sakura felt she was thirteen, and the only thing she had in her empty head was Sasuke. Her head was filled with Sasuke.

"Sasuke…" Sakura whispered breathless.

"Will you…" Sasuke was breathless too. "Will you go out… with me…?" Sasuke's face turned redder than the tomatoes he ate for breakfast.

Sakura's mouth fell open, and looked at him; this was the moment she dreamt of her whole life. The countless nights she cried herself to sleep because Sasuke wasn't there where now mere allusions, now that Sasuke would be a part of something big in her life. She tried to gasp out a loud 'yes' but the amount of information her head had to retain was way to over whelming.

"… Ye… YES! OH YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!" She jumped into Sasuke's arms, tilting him enough to make him fall onto the ground as Sakura pulled him into a deep kiss.

"FINALLY!" The nearest bush rustled, and with that, Naruto's 'get Ugly and Gay together' , mission named by Sai, was a wonderful success.

8888

"And then he told you that you were beautiful?" Yuki almost fell out of her stool while Sakura told her the story that happened a couple weeks ago.

"Yes! And then he kissed me… well I kissed him, but he liked it!" Sakura squealed in excitement.

"Oh. My GAWD! You guys are so cute together!" Yuki let out a puff of smoke in the shape of a heart.

"Yeah… but right now he is in a therapy resort right now, but when he comes back he promised to go to on a date!" Sakura squealed again in excitement.

"Ewww… Therapy… isn't that for old people?" Yuki asked, finishing her twelfth cigarette.

"Busted shoulder." Sakura's face was cold.

"You know, Sasuke is really rubbing off on you, might as well grow a duck butt hair style…" Yuki lighted up another cigarette.

"Ha ha ha… So funny…" Sakura sulked. "I miss my baby…"

"But he left two days ago!" Yuki face palmed herself.

"Yeah… but my baby!" Sakura fake cried as she did her mini scenario during her break.

"Seriously, he comes home tomorrow…" Yuki couldn't be more disappointed by her friends.

"Hmm… I think I will be able to pull through…"

"psycho girlfriend…" Yuki mumbled.

8888

"Why are we doing this again?" Sasuke asked, looking over at his blonde friend.

"We are going to test if your shoulder really is alright!" Naruto said… well shouted, he had to shout everything he said.

"Fine…" Sasuke gripped his sword and swung it side to side, to prove that his shoulder was finally healed.

"Okay, no bust a chidori…" He shouted from the other side of the training ground.

Ah. Chidoris. It's been five weeks… more like one month and a week he had been injured, and he didn't train all that time. So when he set out for therapy, they had to rest once every hour. He was really rusty, or what Naruto or Sai said, a vagina. Not only that hurt his pride, but for the rest of the way, Sasuke's ego was no much bigger than his thumb.

"Aa…" The black haired boy sparked the jutsu with the hand signs, and then grasped the sword, shouting the call of the jutsu.

He was an embarrassment for the Uchiha clan. The little spark was no bigger than a pebble. He was really rusty. Or as Sai put it, he was starting to go homosexual. Not only did his Susano'o fail miserably, but now, his favorite jutsu also failed. He had to restart all over again, pick up where he left off and pull his shit together.

"That is all you've got? And I busted my ass to come and get you back from the Akatsuki?" Sai raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Shut up you dumb baby maker…" Sasuke groaned.

"Whoa there! We got a wild pussy on the loose!" Sai loved making fun of Sasuke.

"Shut up!" The chidori in his hand grew in size and hit the artist in the middle of the chest, sending him flying through the air into the wall of the training resort. With a poof, a log of wood fell on the floor. Stupid. He should have used his sharingan.

"Yo, Sasuke! Ino told me to return Sai in one piece!" Naruto yelled.

"Not that I worry, but seriously, we have to help mister homosexual here?" Sai complained, his face stoic as always.

"Excuse me? Your wife had a crush on me her whole life, I'm basically a sex symbol!" Sasuke shouted from the other side of the training ground.

"Seriously, shut up, or I'll duct tape you to the wall…" Naruto opened his pack and took out the silver duct tape.

Both of them shut up immediately. The image of Sai duct taped in the wall still fresh in both of their minds. Which took forever to get him down from Sasuke's wall, because according to Sasuke, Sai wasn't stylish enough for his wall, then Sai replied that men who do interior designing are gay. Naruto got mad at them and took Sasuke's leg, stuck some duct tape on his calf, and ripped it off, leaving a red rash on the back of his calf. Never again was he going to question the power of duct tape.

"Good! I see now we have some team work going on!" Naruto smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! I just recently woke up... never mind scratch that, I woke up from my surgery and my boyfriend dropped by and stayed for a while, then my mom brought me ramen and my computer. I seriously love my mom. So, just want to tell you guys, the surgery went fine, and I have a couple more and then that's it, but still, please wear sunscreen, because skin cancer hurts like a mothafucking bitch. no joke. To all my reviewers out there, shout out to everyone, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GET WELLS! it made me feel as if the internet supported me :D. So finally they got the melanoma out of my thigh and right now I have this ugly gash in the middle of my thigh and it's seriously hideous. I won't be able to wear shorts without getting stared at, and at the meets everyone will stare at my leg. Ugh! gross! please, wear tons of sunscreen, all year round, even in Christmas because the sun is still out as cloudy as it gets! and all those myths of 'if I put sunscreen once I'll be fine for the rest of the day' Is a fucking lie! you should apply sunscreen every two to six hours depending your skin tone. Okay, I don't want to overwhelm you guys, but seriously, sunscreen. And review. please.<strong>

**Don't forget to stay beautiful and to wear sunscreen.**

**Review, also, I really like reading them and get feedback from them.**

**love, and tons of sunscreened kisses.**

**-Emma~!**


	11. Rules on How to Date Sakura Haruno

DO NOT OWN NARUTO!

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><p>They have been officially dating for two months now, and still the gossip didn't die out. They became more popular… well she became more popular as Sasuke just became mediocre because he always gave in to the demands of the Haruno. He already made a list of rules to keep the relationship going, because and Uchiha and a Haruno was quite a pair.<p>

Rule num. 1: Under no circumstances let Sakura go alone partying. The result of breaking this rule may vary from kinky drunk sex, to wandering on the hokage's faces that were imprinted on the mountain, while punching holes in the mountain.

Rule num. 2: Sex is a delicate subject. Either she'll ride you until you're not able to walk or she will ditch you and you will have to relieve yourself.

Rule num. 3: Never use the Sharingan to spy while she is in the shower. Ever.

With those rules made, Sasuke Uchiha was successfully dating Sakura Haruno. He won a reputation around his peers, since Sakura tells Ino, and Ino tells everyone. At the end he was beyond a sex symbol. He was a sex god, according to the information he heard from this girl, that Hinata told her, which Tenten wrote her, and Ino confided to her. Sometimes, gossip was the best way to gain himself a new nickname and to get Sai to shut up. Because he knew, deep down in his 'heart', Sasuke was way better than Sai in bed.

Today was and average day. A Tuesday, in fact. Sasuke woke up and got ready to go to Sakura's place. It was a tradition they established to have breakfast together before someone set out on a mission. Then when one of the two came back had the choice of who's on top for welcoming sex. This time, Sasuke will be on top. When he entered by her window the smell of rice and miso soup with tomatoes evaded all his senses, making his mouth water.

"Hey honey!" Sakura pecked his lips as he came in from the window.

"Hn…" He got off the sink and jumped off the ground, stretching his back then walked over to the table and sat down.

"I made rice and miso soup with tomatoes, your favorite…" Sakura sat down on front of him and picked up her chops sticks. "So what kind of mission do you have?" Sakura asked with her mouth full.

"It's an ANBU requirement mission…" He bit the tomato, letting the juice of the fruit slide down to his chin.

"That's nice, they're letting you do ANBU missions finally!" Sakura's aura was way too happy.

"Yea… I'll try to bring a present…" Sasuke gulped down the soup, almost burning his throat.

"Let me guess… lingerie…" Sakura slouched again. According to her wardrobe, she had five more lingerie outfits than normal clothing, all courtesy of Ino and Sasuke.

"How did you know?" He asked, looking up from his plate with a mouthful of rice.

"You are just way too predictable…" She smile and took a bite of rice.

"…Uchihas are everything but predictable…" Sasuke finished his rice bowl and started eating another tomato.

"right… they are funny, they answer in long, complex sentences, when some asks them if something is wrong they would tell you, when their girlfriends are on their periods, they don't freak out and think they are going to die…" The rosettes voice was full of sarcasm.

"Okay, the period part was worrying me, who bleeds that much?" Sasuke asked while he finished his tomato.

"You are an idiot!" Sakura threw a chopstick, in purpose she missed the duck haired boy and the chopstick ended up stuck on the wall behind him, delicately close from his ear.

Rule num. 4: Never talk about how much your girlfriend bleeds on her period.

8888

"Yo! Teme!" Naruto waved obnoxiously, drawing attention to himself.

"Hey dobe…" Sasuke raised a hand lazily.

"Hey pussy…" Sai greeted Sasuke, which ended up again with a battle of who had the most stoic face.

The trio met up in the front gate of Konohagakure. The three of them packed for a week long mission and they were going to miss their partners a lot. Especially Sasuke. Sasuke loved Sakura as Naruto loved ramen. The three set out, heading towards north, to assassinate this corrupt politic in the Land of Rain.

They stopped right outside the border of the fire country. They decided to walk on foot the rest of the way in case they get into any treuble. Sasuke made a plan already. He would grab Naruto, and run, leaving Sai to confront the treuble by himself. That was probably the best idea he had. Maybe he could put him under a genjutsu right now, and ditch him. Yes, this seemed like a really reasonably appealing idea right now, because hearing Sai babbling about how manly his sex was with Ino was getting kind of annoying. No joke.

"So who is the idiot that we have to kill?" The palest of all three asked, changing the topic from his wild sex with Ino to the mission.

"Some imbecile with a ton of corruption on his profile…" Naruto lazily hung his arms over his head.

"Hn… Annoying…" The duck haired boy sighted. Sometimes he hated this kind of missions because they took all the time he could be sexing up Sakura.

"Everything is annoying for you…" Naruto breathed, as he stared at the sky.

"Hn…"

"Your girlfriend, your friends, me, and some people… Definitely Sai…" Naruto mumbled.

"Shut it dickless…" Sai's fake smile met up Naruto's lazy gaze.

"No you shut your pie whole." Naruto directly looked away with the intention to ignore his consistent and annoying psycho teammate.

"Both of you shut the fuck up…" Sasuke mumbled.

"You just can't wait until you get home and sex up Sakura right?" Naruto asked, obviously trying to get some juicy details out of his teammate from his female teammate.

"Hn… Same to you…" He mumbled, giving hints of 'please leave me alone, this is stupid and I don't want to do it…'

"I just can't wait to get home, and then Hinata would have cooked delicious and sinful ramen, then we would have slow and romantic sex and then rough and then slow and then rough and then slow…" The blonde kept fantasizing about his partner.

"You guys only think about sex?" Sai asked to his teammates.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, and looked back at Sai and nodded. Obviously, if you have a girlfriend that was willingly going to have sex, than that's all there is, right? Enjoying having someone that returns the same feelings you have was a plus. But willing to have sex? Oh! They could spend the rest of the eternity having sex with them until someone gets pregnant. If that happens, you're screwed. Seriously.

"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" Naruto asked his orthodox slash stupidly moronic 'friend'.

"There is something more than sex… like… the joy of having someone to care for you and to support you… right?" Sai looked at them skeptically.

"What? No! The joy of being in a relationship is the homemade ramen!" Naruto shouted, disproving his teammate's argument of what is a relationship.

"Sex." Sasuke managed to say a one word answer, keeping the Uchiha protocol.

"You're an idiot. Seriously, only sex?" Naruto yelled at the duck haired boy.

"Aa."

"You sicken me!... so how does she like it, rough or slow…" Naruto whispered the last part on the Uchiha's ear.

"Well obviously, he likes it when Sakura sticks a cucumber up his ass." Sai smiled at Sasuke.

"It actually goes like this, your stupid blonde wife sticking your dumb baby's head up your ass." Sasuke said some pretty mean stuff in his whole life, but this, this was at the top of his mean-things-to-say-to-people-especially-Sai list.

"Your mom stuck your head up her ass." He replied.

KABOOM!

Sasuke punched Sai hard enough to make him stumble a couple feet back, this time he got him. His sharingan gleamed through the curtain of black bangs falling across his face. Sai hit the floor and twitched a bit, the blood spilling from his mouth. There was a mark on his left cheek, where Sasuke's fist connected for a tenth of a second. If you were going to rip on the Uchiha family, you had to get through Sasuke. Damn right.

"My mom is fucking dead, but you never had one, next time you rip off on me again, I'll fucking kill you." Sasuke spat on Sai's face, ruining his ego.

"God, you're stronger than Ugly…" Sai rubbed his sore cheek and spat some more blood.

KABOOM!

"Call ugly my girlfriend again, and I'll amaterasu your ass!" Sasuke punched Sai again, making him to fly off the ground, collapsing on the floor. Again.

8888

"C'mon Yuki… one more kissh…" Sakura was drunk again. It hasn't been four days since Sasuke left and all she did was drink and drink and drink.

"No, Shakurrrra… that's enough!" Her very drunk friend giggled.

"I think I might…. I might… be pregnant…" Sakura slurred, while she lazily smiled.

"W—why?" Yuki slurred, almost falling off of Sakura's couch.

"Be—becuz… there- there ish a sh—sh—shtork… a shtork… hehe…building a… nesht… on the roof…" Sakura giggled and fell of the bean chair she recently bought.

"Shak—Shakurrrra… Babiesh… come from… your VAGINA!" Yuki laughed while she drunk another shot.

"Noooo! Kakashi… Kashi… sensei—hic!—told me… they came… from shtorks!" Sakura drunk directly from the sake bottle, letting the liquid slowly burn her throat.

"Hehe… Kashi… Kashi is… HOT!" Yuki laughed, falling of the couch, joining her friend to roll around the floor massively drunk.

"Will you… Kish… me?" Sakura asked, her face red with a thin cape of sweat.

"Of courshe!" Yuki shouted, her lips smacked against Sakura's, her hands propping down on Sakura's waist.

Yuki's tongue slipped through Sakura's lips, sending electrical signals down to both of their spines. Sakura felt as if this deed was extremely dangerous, but exiting at the same time. The adrenaline rush pumped through her veins, making her feel the rush and excitement pooling on her stomach. Along with the alcohol, Sakura could say she is mentally high. Her hormones bursting out of control along with the effects of alcohol, lead to this massive make out with her best friend.

The rest of the night was a blur. The lights faded on the background and the memory of the night was hazy, with a constant buzzing to the sounds. The only thing Sakura remembers vividly was the laughs and smiles from her former best friend, scattered across her memory. She experienced extreme pleasure, due to the endorphins still lying around her bloodstream, along with the alcohol, leaving tiny blackouts on her night along with various blurs.

The night came to an end with the sun arose in the beautiful village on Konoha. The sun filled with light the kunoichi's apartment, making her groan and flutter her eyes open. There was a buzzing in her ears, and a constant thumping on her head. Sakura couldn't recall the events from last night, her head hurt way too much to be thinking, so instead she just dropped back to the couch from where she woke up from, he back falling on her best friend's naked flesh.

Naked flesh.

Crap.

Sakura panicked for a second, and then she tried to act reasonably doing an inventory count to her body, analyzing any kind of substance or liquid that longed around her body.

Check number one: she had a hangover. That was obvious.

Check number two: She was naked.

Check number three: She had sex with her best friend.

"Yuki…" Sakura whispered, as she spilled the brunette's name through her lips, letting a sight escape through her mouth. She stared at her for a long time. Completely naked. Her pale skin glowed with the contact of the dawning sun, but she frowned when she saw her ribs sticking out from her body, as well as her bony legs and arms.

"Fucking smoker…" Sakura whispered again and sighted. What was he going to tell Sasuke? She had sex with her best friend, who was completely knocked up beside her, snoring away all her worries. The sudden feeling of anxiety filled up Sakura inside. Her stomach churned at the thought of telling Sasuke. She had to tell him.

"Sakura…" the brunette whispered, covering her face with her hands to shield her eyes from the burning sun coming through the window.

"Yuki… what happened last night…" Sakura said, with a bit of a harsh tone towards the female lying completely naked on the couch.

"I dunno… but what ever happened… I liked it!" She softly laughed at some of the blurs she could recall from last night.

"Yuki… it's not time to be fooling around… I have a boyfriend!" Sakura hissed, getting up from the couch and gathering her clothes that where lying around the floor.

"Calm your tits down… jeez!" Yuki, still naked on the couch, trying to get up, unsuccessfully, whispered with a hoarse throat.

"How can I calm myself when we had sex last night!" Sakura shouted, making the brunette to cover her ears and groan, diving her head into the couch's pillow.

"We had sex?" Yuki showed half of her face through the pillow and smirked. "I wish I could remember, I could have been amazing…" She smirked again, making Sakura's stomach churn.

"Do you maybe remember that… I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND?" Sakura yelled.

"Woah there… It's not really cheating when it's between girls… this thing we have," She pointed her finger towards Sakura and broughed back to her, " it's called, 'hot', ask anyone in this village…" Yuki groaned, as her bony body got off the couch, standing up into full height, and stretched her arms over her head, showing her bony ribs through her skin. She really needs to stop smoking.

"But—"

"Don't worry sweat pea, I won't tell anyone…" She winked as she picked up her underwear and put it back on.

"This doesn't leave this couch!" Sakura demanded to her best friend.

"Yeah, yeah… don't ever talk about it…"Yuki smiled at her while she put on her long, black ninja overalls, hooking the straps lazily.

"it better not happen again!" Sakura yelled as she pushed her friend to the front door opening the door.

"Okay…" Yuki opened the door, while she was setting her head band around her forearm. "By the way, nice tits" She grinned.

Sakura just sighted and threw Yuki ninja shoes out the door, along with her, closing the door on her face.

* * *

><p><strong>yo! hey guys! I just came back from the hospital, and I have good news and bad news. the bad news is that in four weeks I have another god ridden horrible surgery. lucky me, it's not on JO Max. the good news are that the last surgery was a success! I am so happy! and thanks to all the reviews! thankyouthankyouthankyou! <strong>

**but still, don't forget to review, plz!**

**well, I really don't have anything else to say, apart from this chapter, if I offend anyone by any gruesome vocabulary in this chapter, please don't blame me. blame the internet for corrupting innocent minds like mine... well... nah! tabula rassa FTW!**

**review please!**

**and don't forget to stay beautiful!**

**love,**

**Emma~!**


	12. Never get an Uchiha drunk

**Disclaimer: Do not own Naruto!**

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><p>Sakura couldn't remember the last time she felt this anxious. Sasuke was coming back from his mission two days earlier than expected. (It seems his target suffered from a heart attack before the Uchiha could land a blow on him.) She felt guilty. Guilty of having sex with a friend. And not just having sex with any friend. It was her best friend slash coworker. Her freaking coworker! What if it slipped off Yuki's mouth? Ino would be the first one to know about.<p>

But, the worst part of the whole situation, there was still that permanent smell of sex stuck in the couch. And booze. Those combinations of smells stuck in Sasuke's favorite bright pink couch. Maybe she could get him drunk and have sex in the couch.

That sounds like a good idea.

Oh wait. There is no way Sasuke could get drunk. There is a thing about him and his freaking liver that stand more alcohol than her lightweight liver.

Crap.

Sometimes, Sakura wondered why she could get into these things. Why Kami was so determined to ruin her life… wait, not ruin, but to make her life dangerously exciting? She wanted a boring life, a life where Sasuke would come home, have dinner with her and then have sex with her. And some day, Sasuke will come home to dinner with her and two little toddlers with black hair and maybe, green eyes. Only the girl. Girls can always pull off green eyes. Some guys can too, but they're gay. **(A/N: I don't want to offend anyone!)**

"Aa." Sasuke entered by his favorite window that was situated on the left corner of the kitchen. His smug expression faded into a smirk as he walked towards her, dropping his duffle bag on the floor and kissed her.

"Hey sweetheart…" Sakura smiled, setting her hands on his muscular pectorals, giving some air between them.

"Let's have sex…" Sasuke smirked as he reached for a kiss, closing his mouth, waiting for his partner to respond to his so-called 'affection'.

Sasuke noticed the awkward air between them. He immediately stopped and gave a skeptical look to the rosette, staring at him with a 'I-just-farted-face'. Sasuke raised an eyebrow in doubt and sighted.

"I need a shower, right?" He whispered.

"Errr… yeah…" Sakura nodded affirmatively with her head.

"Why don't you come along?" He smirked again; setting feather kisses along her neck.

"Sasuke, just take a shower…" Sakura patted him on the shoulder while he just pouted, grabbing his duffle bag, and hanging it over his shoulder.

"You owe me. Big time." Sasuke smirked, kissing her in the lips for the last time in that evening.

This was the only time Sakura wasn't looking forward or sex.

8888

"So, Kakashi… you're finally forty… when are you getting married?" Yamato looked at the silver haired man, who was holding his common porno book right on his hands.

"I dunno…" Kakashi never really paid attention to the brunette, and less when there were pointless night shifts to protect the perimeter.

"You know, settling down is not that bad…" Yamato smiled, at the thought of Shizune waiting for him in bed, while the kids were asleep already.

"Hm…" Right now, Kakashi thought the book was way more interesting than Yamato.

"Are you even listening?" the brunette's gaze lifted and settled on Kakashi, who was not paying attention to him what so ever.

"Hm…"

"You know, sometimes you're a prick." Yamato crossed his arms, giving up conversing with his elder.

The night was still calm as the stars twinkled above them, giving the dynamic duo, some light to at least see each other. Apart from having the silver light of the moon filtrating through the canopy of leafs and trees, Yamato held a gas lamp, giving them enough light to see each other as Kakashi held his flash light towards his book, to give him enough light to read his favorite book.

Suddenly, the cries of birds, fleeting away panicked the two men. There was someone coming. Kakashi closed the orange book, and sat up to full height, slowly shifting his weight to the right. Right at that instant a kunai appeared from the darkness, landing inches away from Kakashi's feet.

The silver haired man just sighed and just got a shruiken out, mumbling something about this being troublesome and how ninja these days were useless, and threw the shruiken. There was a screech of pain followed by a thud and the enemy fell on the forest bed. Intruders were getting weaker and weaker these days, or Kakashi was getting better and better.

"Who are you…" The masked man asked, glancing down to the intruder, who was struggling with a bloody leg.

"But he's just a kid!" Yamato squatted, looking at the kid, who seemed to be around his teens.

"Hm…" Kakashi gazed around. One… two… three… four… there were four ninjas along with this guy. "Yamato, kill off the other ones… I'll take this one for interrogation…" Kakashi mumbled, leaving the married man to deal with the rest of the crew.

"You know, sometimes- "

"Bye!" Kakashi disappeared into a puff of smoke, slowly fading into the dark forest.

"Okay… let's not play cat and mouse…" Yamato sighted.

8888

"Sa-ku-da…" Sasuke giggled.

What in the world as Sakura done.

She had done the unthinkable.

In an attempt to cover up her story or any suspicions about her little incident with Yuki, she decided to get Sasuke drunk by morphing some of the substances in his body into Alcohol and sugar. Now he had to baby sit a really drunk Sasuke. A drunk Sasuke was the same as baby sitting a sugar high five year old with a really dirty mind. The duck haired boy went through every 'that's what she said' moment in the book, and groped her in every single way there is.

"What, Sasuke?" She was about to pull out her hair.

"I know how to revive my clan…" Sasuke smirked.

Sakura looked incredulously to his partner. This guy. This guy is the one who left her for freaking five years, tried to kill her, multiple times, and was labeled as an S-class criminal. This was the famous Uchiha. But now, he was extremely drunk. Yes, Sasuke Uchiha was officially drunk.

"With sex!...let's have… SEX! Lots and—lots of sex!" The Uchiha chuckled as he fell of the couch giggling like a baby.

"Sasuke, you're drunk."

"C'mon babes… let's make—babies!" He shouted as he drank some more beer.

"Aw… what the hell!" Sakura threw herself on top of Sasuke, sucking his lips out.

The morning arrived way too early for her liking. And there was a banging on the door that drove her crazy. She got up from the bathtub, and smirked to her sensual drunk sex she had with Sasuke last night, which by the way, was one of the bests sex she had yet. The banging on the door was still there, drumming on her ears, menacing to tear the apartment down, along with the door.

"Jeez…" She yawned and threw on a white shirt she found around her bedroom.

"OI! OPEN UP THE DOOR!" Naruto banged the door.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." Sakura opened the door, peeking through it, only showing her face.

"Tsunade baa-chan summoned us; it seems team seven has a mission." Naruto quickly left, probably to tell Sai.

She shut the door and slammed her back against it, slowly sliding down the door, until her bare bottom collided against the cold marble floor. She sighted and dropped her head. She couldn't pull herself together and go see her shishou, she was way too tired, and have to drag Sasuke, or Sasuke dragging her was a drag. She wanted a day off.

"Who was that?" Sasuke yelled from the bathroom.

"Naruto!" She yelled back.

"What does he—Bluh!" Sasuke vomited into the toilet bowl. Not again, please, it has only been three months since he stopped throwing up.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Sakura yelled from the front door.

"Aa—bluh!"

Oh fuck.

After a cold shower and her usual morning routine, Sakura fitted herself with her usual uniform. She pulled the black tank top over the chainmail that ninjas wore for minimal protection. On her shoes she fitted her black ninja shoes and before he dragged out a really sick Sasuke out the door she put on her forest green vest and grabbed Sasuke's too, but in the state he currently was, he needed a freaking cure for hangover.

Damn Sakura and her Kunoichi arts!

Sasuke waddled along the streets, careless of his surroundings. Actually, he was not getting an intake of what was going on around him. Apart from Sakura, which she was holding his hand, occasionally checking on him so he doesn't puke his guts out. They walked slowly, at the pace of a turtle, so Sasuke doesn't get dizzy, but his enormous ego, and sky scrapper size man pride told Sakura to just jump along the rooftops.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned as Sakura opened the Hokage tower, climbing up the endless set of stair. Until they both got into the building.

The smell of wood, and new paper, along with the rusting going around in the office, embed their senses. Sasuke was now finally to stand up to full height without having to puke up his guts. Even though he flinched sometimes, he still seemed pretty normal.

Tsunade was waiting for them, along with Naruto and Sai. The blonde woman rustled some papers until she found the one she needed. With a relieved sight, she pulled back her hair and looked at the four young adults standing tiredly in her office. She glared at every single one of them for straight five minutes, their expressions changing from calm to tense because of Tsunade's intense glare.

"I'm sorry, but we have another problem in our hands." Tsunade announced.

"What? We just came back from a mission!" Naruto's mouth fell to the floor.

"But there is no one available for this mission. Ino is in maternity leave, Chouji and Shikamaru are in Sunakagure, Team one are on a mission, while team eight and six are on escorts. You! Are the only ones left for the job." Tsunade pointed them with her pencil as she looked at the paper.

Sakura's brow wrinkled, she didn't feel like going on a mission. She was sore. Sore in the most awkward places there is in the female body. And she was totally not up for a mission.

Tsunade looked at every single pupil from team seven. She sighted again as her gaze landed on Sasuke. Her least favorite. At least he got the job done, perfectly done, with no flaw what so ever, but his attitude towards the rest of the team or the town was reluctant. She always saw the Uchiha as a teenager that all he needed was some attention, love and a therapist. But he turned out to be a fine ninja. Despite his background.

"So? Was the situation…" Sasuke groaned, annoyed that he just came back from a mission.

"We had infiltrators from the Land of Rain. We need you," She pointed at the four young adults with her pencil, "To go to the Hidden Rain and find out anything you guys can find. I don't mind if you get into a little trouble. I mind if you cause a huge scene. Got it Naruto?" Tsunade arched an eyebrow at Naruto.

"Yes baa-chan!" Naruto did his typical salute and chuckled.

"all right, you're setting out tonight!" Tsunade roared, hinting to the to get out of her room.

"Tonight—bluh!" Sakura got to nearest trashcan and spilled out her breakfast.

"Hun, are you okay?" Tsunade whispered.

"Yeah… It's nothing…" Sakura waved off her master and left the room along with his teammates.

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><p><strong>hello guys! it's been a while huh? Yeah, I've been doing stuff... apart from just laying in bed and not going to workout and stuff... because of my freaking stitches, and I'm going freaking crazy... so what do you guys think? please review and let me know!<strong>

**stay beautiful everyone!**

**sorry it took long to update, i've been diagnosed with a grave case of procastination...**

**love **

**Emma~!**


	13. Your Extra Time

**do not own Naruto!**

* * *

><p>The hours passed, fading into the time frame memory of every single one of the ninjas, loosing track of what day it was and what time it was. But they knew that it would take them two more days to reach the Land of Rain. Going to the Land of Rain would be nostalgic, since the Akatsuki were originated in the Land of Rain, but finally, after years of wars and fighting, Madara was defeated and the rest of the Akatsuki either retired or just killed themselves. Well, not really, they kind of helped with the suicide… but that's not the point.<p>

The ninja team reached a small town right on the Konoha border. There, Team seven was able to find a small hotel where they could stay for the night. The hotel wasn't near to fancy. The front door creaked, warning to fall off its hinges if someone pushed the poor inanimate object too far, while the wooden floor boards moaned in pain to the steps of the ninja. But as old the hotel was, it had this feeling of welcoming and warmth, which Sasuke described it as "Hn".

The team stayed in a room with four beds. Not really four beds, it was a double bed, a small bed and a couch. Kakashi opted for the couch, as Sakura dived for the double bed and Naruto looked at Sai. Sai was sleeping on the floor. Everyone was happy with their picks, well… if Sai's expression counts, but he was indifferent to what he chose to sleep on, which was a traditional futon he obtained from the front desk.

Sakura dived into the bathroom, calling dibs first on a warm shower, leaving the freezing cold water to the last idiot that procrastinated with its hygiene. Sasuke asked to join, but Sakura literally slammed the door on him, earning a few 'ouch' and 'uhhh…'.

Hour and a half into Sakura's shower, Team seven was sprawled on the minuscule couch. Kakashi slouching on the left with Sasuke was staring at the ceiling, taking up most of the couch space, Naruto was just playing with his fingers, drawing faces into them with Sai's ninja ink, while Sai just sat there, smiling his face away, while he read a book about friendship.

"I JUST WANT YOUR EXTRA TIME AND YOUR… KISS!" That bolt of thunder coming from the bathroom got the attention of the four man wolf pack stuffed in the couch, raising their eye brows, questioning the feminity of their teammate.

"Dobe, who's singing that crap?" Sasuke's gaze was still fixated on the ceiling.

Everyone stared at the duck haired boy slash man, raising their eyebrows even higher. This young adult had no regard or knowledge of Sakura's singing, which you could describe it without being mean as in: proficient in all areas of science and medicine, but lacking in the field of arts and creativity.

"Teme, your girlfriend is singing that crap…" Naruto whispered. Sasuke was fucked. Sakura's fists of doom could earn him a month in the hospital if he was miraculously lucky. Not only that, but now that he was getting acquaintance with his emotional side (emotional as in feeling petty for the victim in soap operas, but he never really showed until he went to the bathroom, to write a very disappointed letter to the writers of the movie, but then he remembers his Uchiha pride and burns it with his amaterasu.)

The Uchiha's jaw tightened, he could feel Sakura's stares on the back of his head, even though the back of his head was on the recliner of the couch.

"What a beautiful crap."

He was saved. For now.

They set out for the rest of the journey in the early hours of the morning. This was generally hard on Sasuke, because he was up all night because he wanted to get some, but then he had a constant mind debate due to the room full of man, ready to blackmail him any time. He sported dark eye bags under his eyes, but he was thankful for traveling disguised as merchants.

Each one of them was disguised until the last touch, Sai even applied a fake, and black fu man chu mustache on his face, completely changing his appearance. It took some convincing for Naruto because he was confused on how could Sai grow a mustache in one night, when he was barely unable to produce a sprout of facial hair. Sasuke just wore slacks and a different colored shirt, a wool beany and a mole on his upper lip, while Sakura just conformed with a simple, light green kimono with a purple obi, her hair on a brown wig and contacts on her eyes.

Kakashi was actually thinking about showing his face, since no one got a glimpse of it, but he just decided to wear a scarf and a thick, brown mustache to cover up his face with. That was simple enough, but Naruto, being the number one knuckle head unpredictable ninja, he wore a bright green track suit,(courtesy of Gai sensei.) and a wig. Now team seven was just a bunch of merchant weirdoes.

They all traveled for two hours, passing through towns that were getting generally shabbier than the town before. It seems since the fourth great ninja war happened, the economy of the Land of Rain totally collapsed. Allowing the shinobi to wander around, trying to be bounty hunters so they could feed their families at the end of the day.

"We should stop for ramen…" Naruto mumbled, tired from all the walking they did.

"Hn…" Sasuke groaned, scratching his head. The wool beany did not agree with his duck hair.

"We just stopped at a dango shop!" Sakura muttered, still savoring the delicious dumplings that the old lady from the shop offered them.

"There is a huge difference between dango and ramen." Naruto scoffed. "Ramen, it's like the elixir of the gods. A precious food that mortals gave to gods, so they could feed from the sinfully delicious feast of flavor the pot of ramen contained. At the beginning of times, they decided ramen was too sacred for them, so the gods distributed the tasteful recipe between the mortals. Dango are just dumplings, meh…" Naruto threw his hands behind his neck, after giving that representation of ramen.

"If Anko heard you right now…" Kakashi mumbled, not lifting up his gaze from one of the latest additions to the Icha Icha paradise books, the afterlife addition.

"She's got nothing on me…" Naruto muttered.

Kakashi lifted an eyebrow, questioning Naruto's statement. He currently had a thing for her. (That why he scratched out the name of the heroine of the Icha Icha and changed it to Anko Mitarashi, while the hero was changed to Kakashi Hatake.) But last time he tried something on her; she stabbed a dango stick up his nose, and sent him to the hospital with several broken limbs. That girl was a tornado.

"So are we stopping for ramen?"

After two of Sakura's 'fists of doom' and three more hours of passing throw towns that were reduced to shambles and coals, they came across a small town, that was well kept compared to the rest of what they've seen by the way here. It wasn't overly new. You could tell it still followed the memo of 'towns in shambles' by the government of the Land of Rain. But this one had more of a techno touch to it. phosphorescent light and signs were held up in every single street corner, as well as the abusive use of metals for buildings.

They entered a small hotel, not trying to drive some attention to themselves, even though everyone admired Naruto's bloody nose and black eye, due to Sakura's falcon punch. Or as Naruto translated it to, the punch-of-afterlife-but-the-second-one-brought-you-back-to-life. The hotel was a bit more modern and well kept, and obviously way out of league than the other hotel they stayed on the other town. Even though it was midday, they decided to stop and plan out the mission, and get a fair amount of information about the notorious ninja that attacked their village.

"So, these ninja belong to the capital from what I heard from some villagers…" Sakura extended the old map across the metal coffee table from their room.

Sasuke immediately took off his beany, letting himself fall on the couch and wrapped an arm around Sakura, while he scratched his hair with the other one. It was a relief to finally get out of the damn itchy beany.

"Hmm… So we are going to barge in the capital and kill them?" Sai, for the moment was deep in thought about the mission, but he still had his baby in mind.

"I guess, but we have to lure them out first…" Sakura mumbled, and tucked a pink strand behind her ear.

The room suddenly was silent; everyone's gaze was set on Sakura. Except Sasuke, Sasuke's gaze was going down her cleavage, of the kimono, which she loosened it up because the obi was suffocating her. Damn these obis and her monstrous strength.

"I am not the hook." A vein popped in her forehead.

"Ah, c'mon Sakura!" Naruto wailed his hands around the air.

"What if they're female ninja?" The pinkette stared furiously to her team.

The whole room stayed quiet, and the four men looked at each other in disbelief and skepticism. Seriously? female ninja?

The four men laughed at Sakura's suggestion, making her feel uncomfortable, there were a ton of female ninja, there was Ten Ten… and… Oh fuck, there were no female ninja.

"Oh! That's a good one! I've never laughed so hard in a long time!" Naruto dried a tear of laughter with his finger, which promptly he was sent through four dry walls, disturbing the other clients that stayed in the hotel.

"What the… Sakura! Can you attract more attention to yourself?" Kakashi hissed under his mustache.

"Woops…" Sakura giggled.

"If you weren't a girl I would punch you so hard!" Naruto yelled.

"Hey, fists off my girlfriend…" Sasuke slapped his best friend on the back of his head.

"That's what he said…" Sai mumbled without looking out of his 'how to make your wife happy' book.

"You guys are so immature…" Kakashi muttered.

The four teammates glared at their teacher, who just gave them a nod from the top bunk bed from the much cheaper hotel they found.

The hotel they were staying was a total joke. The floors creaked, the doors also creaked, and so did the beds. The beds where made out of wood with a thin mattress without any kind of sheets or pillows. Also, they were narrow enough to only fit one person, but Sasuke insisted that he could share with Sakura and they could give their blanket to someone else. Sakura almost made him sleep in the termite infested floor.

The bathroom was in horrible conditions, so no one was brave enough to enter it and take a shower, not to mention the water was brown, and terribly cold. That was enough for them to use water jutsus and a bucket of water with soap.

"Okay, so we've decided to put the plan in motion tomorrow, right?" Sai asked for confirmation.

"Yeah, can't wait to see Sakura in that kind of clothing…" Naruto was in his day dream of a threesome with Hinata and Sakura.

Promptly, Sakura sprayed Naruto with a thin layer of barf. Apparently her dinner didn't agree with her stomach.

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><p><strong>Hey guys! sorry it took a while to update, because I've been going to the doctor a lot, and I have to go to the dermatologist, as well as my physical therapist and I have no time left in my day, even thought they tell me to rest and take it easy. <strong>

**Well, in my time of taking it easy, I'm totally caught up in Naruto, and there is only one reason why I still love Sasuke: Because I love how awkward he is. that's it. the rest, I just think he is a jerk, but at the end what that kid needs is some parents, love and a therapist, possibly Argentinean.**

**Y muchas gracias a todas mis fans que hablan español! me hace ilusion de saver que no soy la unica que tambien se lee fanfiction en español! lo siento si hay faltas de ortografia, pero esque tengo el teclado en ingles, y no pienso en molestarme en poner accentos, porque estoy super cansada, aun asi no puedo parar de mirar a todas las palabras que le faltan accentos, me vuelven loca!**

**thank you! and stay beautiful!**

**love!**

**Emma!**


	14. Double Sight

Tsunade sighted heavily. Leaving Yuki to write the medical reports was the worst idea that ever happened to her mind. The handwriting was exceptional, so was the grammar and spelling, but the problem was she didn't know how Jackass-san or Bigboobed-chan was. Not that she cared how she came up with the nicknames. Also, fifty percent of that sight was about the infiltrates in Konoha, and how they plan to revolt against Konoha, she wish Team seven could get a hold on that situation.

"Shizune, can you call Yuki for me?" Tsunade sighted, giving up on the medical reports.

"Yes… just a second…" She sat Ton Ton on the table and did some few hand signs and smashed her hand on the floor. The poof of smoke appeared on the office, dazing the room for a few seconds, until the nurse coughed, trying to get the smoke circulating before lighting a smoke.

"Hi…" Yuki let out a puff of smoke.

"Hey… I have a question for you…" Tsunade rustled through the papers and finally got to the copies of the medical reports. "Who is… Dumbass-chan, and Bitch-chan." A vein was about to collapse in Tsunade's brain, causing a stroke and a blood clot in her forehead.

"Well… I… they are… I forgot…" Yuki scratched her head.

"And how am I supposed to file these when there might be ninja out there without medical records?" Tsunade slammed the reports on the table, making in creak in pain.

"Tsunade watch out!" Shizune warned, taking a hold of Ton Ton again.

"Shut up! Or I'll make ham out of that pig!" Tsunade slammed her fist against the table again, breaking the table in half.

"Ermm… I'll take these reports back and fix them…" Yuki was surprised by the strength the hokage had.

"Yeah! And they better be right!" Tsunade barked at her before the brunette exited the room.

Yuki exited the room and sighed. Gosh, this mission was getting way too wrapped up for her taste. She really wanted to get over with it and just leave. The brunette walked down the Hokage tower, taking slow steps, and not caring about if she was going to be late to the hospital, and just took her time and smoked another cigarette.

_BZZZZ!_

Yuki sighted again. Lately, her boss had been calling nonstop. Sometimes it really annoyed her because her boss called her on the craziest hours because he didn't really cared about the time frame between the Rain and Fire countries. She took out the small device out of her pocket, weighting it on her hand, debating whether she should pick up the phone or just hang up and call another time that was more suitable for her, which would be never.

'we have a problem.' The grave voice from his boss rang through the phone.

"And what do you want me to do about it?" She let out the last puff of smoke of her cigarette before throwing it to the ground and squishing it.

"Come and we'll talk about it…" The voice was furious. This wasn't good.

"I'll be in by tomorrow." Yuki clicked her phone. She sighted again and took out a cigarette, before taking out a kunai and throwing it at the nearest tree. There, a man fell of it, probably dead, but his memory erased from the previous event.

8888

"This is degrading!" Sakura moaned.

"Yes! Believe it!" Naruto pointed at his teammates with his menacing finger.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Kakashi muttered under his mask, looking at his fully grown students, dressed as prostitutes on the entrance of the capital.

"If it was Sakura, it would be alright, but I never thought I would never use a sexy jutsu for a mission!" The blonde was throwing a fit how Sakura needed back up just in case, she needed a hand.

"You look adorable!" Sai smiled at him.

"Fuck you Sai!" Naruto punched Sai on the jaw, making him fall on his butt.

"Hey! That's not lady like, follow Sakura's lead!" Kakashi was getting slightly irritated. His team was made out of great ninja, actually, some of the best ninja, but they had the maturity of a twelve year old.

"We should use Sasuke then, Sakura is too manly…" Sai muttered, checking if he had a broken jaw.

Sasuke glared at him. He made a mental note to burn all of Sai's stuff when they get back from his mission, and to flirt with his wife too, Sai gets irritated when people flirt with his wife.

8888

The night fell in the capital of the Land of rain. Yuki ran past the streets overflowing with drunkards and prostitutes. The air was full of smoke and the smell of booze filled her nostrils. She didn't like alcohol, despite the times she got drunk with Sakura. Sakura was actually her only interest in that village, she didn't mean criminally, but she had fall in love, or what she thought, with Sakura. This was a whole setback for this mission. She didn't expect to fall in love with Sakura.

She finally got into the secret lair. The old and shabby storage building still stood on its weak foundation, and the paint of the walls was peeling off from the walls. She opened with difficulty the back door, unable to give in to her push because of the lack of oiling.

"Fucking door…" she muttered kicking the door close.

"Yuki!" The blonde girl threw herself on Yuki, making Yuki to lose her footing and falling on the floor with the other female on her.

"Sayuri! What are you doing!" Yuki groaned as the blonde attacked her with kisses.

"Boss told me you were coming!" Sayuri smiled, showing a row of pearly white teeth.

" 'Kay… can you get off me, you're getting kind of heavy…" Yuki huffed, feeling the air getting sucked out of her lungs.

"Yuki! That's mean!" the blonde crossed her arms over her chest.

"Sayuri…" Yuki gave her a glacial look.

"Ugh… fine!" Sayuri rolled off the brunette grunting while the two girls got up. "I missed you…" Sayuri mumbled as she grasped slowly Yuki's hands.

"Me too… but the journey has been rather harsh…" Yuki's gaze lifted up to the blonde's green eyes, and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you…" Sayuri mumbled.

"Hm…" Yuki wasn't sure if she could lie to herself and return the feelings the blonde held towards her.

"Let's go, boss is waiting…" The blonde pulled from her forearm.

8888

"How can you walk on these?" Naruto groaned as he waddled with his stilettos.

"Ugh! Be quiet Naruto! You'll blow our cover!" Sakura was irritated, she was currently having the wedgie of a life time. The hot pink short ridged up more than she wanted, and so did the already small black and hot pink corset.

"What ever…" Naruto huffed, stomping towards Sakura, heading to the old and shabby (following the protocol of shabby towns issued by the Kage of the Land of Rain.) storage building.

"…Okay… I think this is it…" Sakura looked up from her paper with her heavily painted eyes, as she crumbled the paper and burned with a small jutsu. No evidence has to be left behind.

"Okay… show time…" Naruto smirked as he readjusted his cleavage.

Sakura knocked on the door twice. Few minutes passed and she knocked again. The slot from the door slid open, showing a pair of green eyes, staring at her lustfully. Inner Sakura was now waiting to be hanged, because she had no intention to deal with any hunks, but according to her hunktionary, hunks did not have green eyes, only blue brown and black.

"What do ya want!" a female voice shrilled through the opening.

"Umm… sorry… it's that… we um… we…" Sakura immediately blushed. Indeed, female ninja did exist, she was going to whoop Kakashi's ass after this.

"We are lost, can we stay for the night?" Naruto yelled, blocking the slot with his big blue eyes.

"Erm… just a second…" The slot closed, and the steps faded away.

"You're an idiot…" Sakura sighted, rubbing her arms for warmth.

The slot quickly opened again, revealing the same pair of green irises staring at the rosette intensely.

"Sure! Come in!" The voice cheered.

The slot closed at the metal door gave in to the pull from the green eyed female, giving full view of the old and shabby (issued by the kage of the Land of Rain) storage room. The old storage building didn't have anything special in particular, only that it was crawling with creepy shadows and female ninja masking their chakra poorly.

"This is creepy…" Naruto clenched onto Sakura's arm.

"Bear with it…" She whispered softly.

"Sayuri! What did I tell you about strangers!" A voice boomed from the shadows.

"But—Boss said I could bring them here!" The blonde, apparently Sayuri pouted, clinging onto Sakura's free arm.

"Hm… fine…" The booming voice calmed down and stepped out from the shadow.

The ninja shoes where high heeled and tight, as so it was the rest of her attire, her waist was decorated by a belt full of ninja equipment and weapons, and the her top was a zip up tank top, padded for any casual injuries with a small emblem of a crane with its wings opened, shining under the faint moon light. Suddenly, her face became clear.

Sakura sucked in her breath and looked at her future opponent. Furious with wrath and betrayal, she looked at her coworker, friend and 'little' experiment.

"Long time no see, Sa-ku-ra." Yuki's lips stretched into a small smirk.

* * *

><p>Quick update before I have to leave for my surgery, I know, cliche cliff hanger, but atleast my OC is a bad ass and loves the dark side. (STARWARS FTW!) gawsh... I love that series...<p>

okay enough my nerdiness and I love you all!

I'm sorry but this is all I've got, next chapter is going to be amazing and I swear over my whole star wars collection it is going to be amazing.

love, and stay beautiful!

Emma!


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